The UFC’s first video game in over five years is set to be released on May 19th. The general consensus is that Undpisted 2009 is shit-yer-pants good. While the massive amount of revenue that the game will bring in is no doubt important for Zuffa, what is arguably more important is the amount of new fans this thing could potentially bring into the sport. On top of that, the future of THQ (the company that produced the game) might literally rely on the game’s success.
The roster consists of about 80 fighters. That doesn’t include downloadable fighters Ryan Bader and Efrain Escudero, winners of TUF8, and unlockable characters Mask, Punkass, and Skyscrape from Tapout. The UFC and THQ put their collective skulls together and pieced together a pretty solid roster, despite the omission of a few notables like Shane Carwin, Clay Guida, and Jon Jones.
Looking at the roster got me thinking: what characters who have absolutely no reason to be in a UFC game would make it even more awesome? After the jump, ten nonsensical additions to the UFC Undisputed roster that would up the badass level of the game considerably.
10. Bas Rutten
Liver shot. Kick to the groin. Palm strike. The Rutten Jump. All these moves are practically patented by El Guapo and would all enhance the gaming experience.
9. Kiefer Sutherland
Learning how to pull off slick submissions from rubber guard using BJ Penn or knock people the fuck out with devastating combinations using Rampage will no doubt bring tons of enjoyment to many hardcore MMA fans and hardcore gamers alike. But still: anybody who headbutts fashion designers for amusement belongs in a fight game as an unlockable character.
8. Bruce Lee
Not only is the man a legend in both pop culture and martial arts, but he is considered by many to be one of the founding fathers of MMA. Georges St. Pierre vs. Bruce Lee? Yes, please.
7. Kim Couture
There might not be any other women in the game, but tell me it wouldn’t be fun to re-enact Randy’s soon-to-be ex-wife’s fight with Kim Rose over and over and over again. Randy himself would pick up a copy.
6. Toby Imada
Imada is going to be riding the wave of his absolutely insane inverse triangle choke victory over Jorge Masdival for quite a while. Imada would be neverending fun in this game based solely off the ability to perform this one move.
5. War Machine
Chances are, I’ll never get the chance to fight War Machine in real life. And even if I did, chances are he would kick my ass, being that he is a pro fighter and I spend half the day in my underwear. His presence in the game would allow me to simulate kicking the shit out of him on the regular.
4. Kimbo Slice
Would playing as a lightweight and knocking out Kimbo with a weak jab ever get old? I don’t think so.
3. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
If you’ve ever played any of the old Smackdown! video games for the Playstation, then you know delivering stunners to a variety of opponents equals hours of entertainment. Sure, Austin wouldn’t last 30 seconds in a fight with a real mixed martial artist, but that’s why video games exist.
2. Bob Reilly
If kicking War Machine’s ass in a video game would make for a good time, smashing Reilly’s face would be somewhere between rollercoasters and sex on the fun chart. It would also be justice.
What? Did you think anyone else would take this spot?
Got your own idea for an addition to the roster? Throw it in the comments.