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A Mir Formality

mircormierusatoday

On April 20th, 2013, UFC veteran Frank Mir welcomed Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix Champion and UFC newcomer, Daniel Cormier, to the Octagon.  Mir aimed to expose the quality gap between UFC and non-UFC talent while Cormier looked to solidify his place amongst the MMA elite.

April 20, 2013
UFC 7 on Fox
Frank Mir vs. Daniel Cormier
Cormier def. Mir via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)

“A Mir Formality”

At this point in time
Mir is well past his prime—
He now is a keeper of gates

He’ll still notch some wins
Via nap or a tap
But he won’t be defeating the greats

I feel rather bad
For the sport’s former champ—
He could have done more with his clock

But after he bulked
For his tussles with Brock
He moved like a handicapped rock

With of all that muscle
Attached to his frame
His cardio suffered in spades

The new generation
Of 265s
Are trained to be Jacks of all Trades

So strikers like Santos
Will win with their speed
And wrestlers will grind him away

Or future opponents
Can follow the plan
Perfected by D-Cormier

There’re still several fights
I’d be happy to see—
He’s got plenty left in the tank

But sadly, I fear,
He is done coming near
The peaks of the heavyweight rank

(pic via Kyle Terada for USA Today)

  • CAP

    You should have quit while you were ahead.
    This poem was as lame as that fight.
    Please tell me these poems are dead.
    Two wrongs don’t make a right.

  • Shibo

    Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously, enough is enough. This isn’t a 7th grade English assignment. Stop with the fucking poems.

  • Garp

    To be honest I’d
    Like to Laugh Out Loud but it’s
    Too Long / Didn’t Read

  • Mixed Martial Adam

    I hate you

  • Blackula Jonez

    I enjoyed it.

  • dick

    Please kill me

  • Doogie Howser, M.D.

    Oh fuck off. Please.
    Or I’ll make you smell my dick cheese.

    That’s as long as any poem needs to be.

  • Jarman

    The comments are the best part.

  • glassjawsh

    bananas
    kale
    yogurt
    toilet paper
    rye bread
    juice
    preparation H
    milk steak

    my grocery list is better poem then whatever the hell this was supposed to be

  • frickshun

    Hey Jawsh, WTF is “milk steak?”

  • Reverend Clint

    “milk the steak”

  • Killer Condom

    I enjoyed it as well.

    Best part though? Dick going from being harassed in the comments every time he wrote something, to joining in the harassmentsquadchoir and finally feeling accepted. That’s some first grade shit right there.

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