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Advanced Training Techniques

I’ve often thought that we’re gonna see some pretty insane MMA fighters coming up in the next 15 years. You better believe a lot of TUF noobs are gonna be pulling their kids out of softball (which sucks) to stick ‘em in MMA schools (which rule) across the country. If you think Georges St Pierre is deadly, wait till you see the next generation who won’t have wasted 6 years doing lame karate.

But hey, if you’re REALLY devoted to your son being the next big thing in cagefighting, how about this: stun that fucker with a taser! And don’t wait until he’s like I dunno 12 and deserves it for talking back. Tase that little shit from the time he’s 2 years old onwards. Stupid? Maybe. I guess we’ll never know if this training regime works because the guy who did it ended up in jail and his kid was taken away from him.

Said the prosecutor: “He wanted his child to be tough … talked about his dream of the child being the toughest cage fighter ever.” Which is pretty spooky, because I’ve shared that dream with many people as well. But I’m not stupid: I wouldn’t reveal to anyone my totally sweet taser training plans, because I wouldn’t want them to steal it and use it on their own children. I can’t even imagine the insanity of two taser trained toddlers going at it. It’d be like Fedor fighting his clone times a billion.

  • kentyman

    Oh, it’s just a 100,000 volt stun gun, not a taser.

    Way to blow everything out of proportion, Fightlinker! :-P

  • Swedish guy

    Hilarious picture, nevertheless.

  • winklepicker

    Don’t tase me, Dad!

  • MacDaddy

    They should give that sick piece of crap his stun gun to take to jail, then pass out knives to everybody else. Cagefight!!!

  • Atom

    How long does it take the your average taser-trained child to revolt against his handler, I mean parent?

  • #1 jackal

    That is just fucked up… I cant think of any smart ass comment for this. Usually I can laugh at almost anything, but I dont know about this one. GEESH

  • frickshun

    I do try to toughen up my kids. But I’m smart about it. I use my fists b/c in America, they can’t take that away from me.

  • fightfan

    This dude is going to get fucked up in jail if word of what he did gets out. I hope he gets whats coming to him.

  • fightlinker

    Just putting it out there, but there’s always the possibility that the guy never did anything and this is just the psycho mom having him put in jail and having his visitation removed.
    There’s 1001 stories like this going on every day … dads being accused of abuse and molestation so the mom doesn’t have to share the kid.

    Just some food for thought. That being said, SPARE THE TAZE, SPOIL THE CHILD

  • shanaconda

    TapOut needs to get on this shit, put this guy in some post-Apocalyptic urban scene with Harlot of Babylon models, his taser and some partially charred sibylline zombie babies
    !!!!!!!BAD FOR THE SPORT!!!!!!! MF-ers
    those tapout pussies are wimps, I’d take them to the dark matter side ;-}

  • Wu Tang

    Fucken christ… That is one fuckd up dude to actually do that… What caused him to do so? He will get anally raped in jail that is for sure.. SO, what you in for?
    “oww nothing, just used a stun gun on my baby kid so that he can be the next chuck liddell or royce gracie thats it….”