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Alistair Overeem comes clean

Alistair Overeem has finally revealed his reason for failing his random UFC 146 drug test. Rather than go with the ol Chael Sonnen, he went for the Cris Cyborg:

I am deeply saddened to announce that on Friday, April 20, I respectfully withdrew from the May 26 event so that I can request a continuance until my situation with the Nevada State Athletic Commission is resolved.

I cannot express how sorry I am to the Commission, Junior Dos Santos, the fans, the owners and employees of the UFC, my friends and family and anyone else who this has affected.

I absolutely do not believe in, nor do I use performance-enhancing drugs. I am a clean fighter and I will do whatever it takes to prove this to everyone.

Prior to the UFC 146 press conference in March, I aggravated an old rib injury on my left side. My doctor prescribed, and I accepted, an anti-inflammatory medication that was mixed with testosterone. I was completely unaware that testosterone was one of the ingredients in the medication. Although I was unaware, I do realize it is my job to know what I am putting into my body.

Sounds legit. I think I’ll keep this letter in my back pockets for when I compete in this summer’s International Eye Rolling Olympics.

That’s a pretty terrible doctor who’s going to stick a professional athlete with testosterone and not let them know. Poor Alistair having his dream fight derailed because of this irresponsible medical dude! Now people are going to forever think he’s a big cheater who screwed up the biggest fight of his life.

  • Reverend Clint

    where does this retard go to the doctor? Serbia? Brazil? Sounds like some 3rd world shit… or he is lying.

  • Giallo

    I think some of europe qualifies as 3rd world, definitely old world bullshit, maybe it was one of those hobo traveling gypsy doctors.

  • Jeremy

    Overeem is clean, this is bullshit! Get him back in the main event, he was going to win the fucking belt!

  • Mixed Martial Adam

    The Netherlands makes the US look like the third world, that is one efficient country.

    Perhaps Alistair might have been given the benefit of the doubt if he hadn’t already dodged his previous random drug test and ALMOST canceled his main event vs Lesnar. That’s two drug test fuck-ups back to back…

  • glassjawsh

    to play devil’s advocate (and overeem ball swinger)
    I’m a few credits shy of my medical degree, but I’m pretty sure it’s not the doctors responsibility to tell his patients the ingredients contained in the drug he’s prescribing them (unless he suspects they are somehow allergic or may be otherwise ill effected).  generally speaking, no one gives a shit, they just want the feel goods and to get the fuck out of there.
    regardless of whether he’s a cheater or an idiot he done fucked up and hopefully gets suspended and learns his goddamn lesson

  • Fightlinker

    “I’m a professional athlete who hurt his rib training for a fight”

    “Here, let me give you something full of testosterone and not mention it”
  • Symbul

    If the fight’s that far out the doctor might not worry about it, or Alistair.

    I’m not gonna go all armchair doctor, and I certainly am not privy to his medical records, but it doesn’t really matter in the end. You look like that, you’ve had the rumors surrounding you for years, you dodge your last pre-fight screening with some pretty sketchy excuses… we’ll need some hard proof to believe that this was anything but what it looks like.

  • frickshun

    Jawsh–>what the hell are you talking about?? He’s been a professional fighter longer than you haven’t been sober. You know what gets you drunk. He knows what to do when ingesting any meds or suppliments. You know what gets you through the day as a naughty librarian & he knows what gets him to test clean. He fuct up his cycle & this excuse is so lame.

  • Letibleu

    Arent you supposed to go to a sports doctor when you are an athlete of this caliber? I dont think your run of the mill family physician quite makes the cut.

  • Letibleu

    Arent you supposed to go to a sports doctor when you are an athlete of this caliber? I dont think your run of the mill family physician quite makes the cut.

    Besides, he is supposed to disclose any prescribed medication on the form he filled out prior to this random test.

    If it looks like a cheater, walks like a cheater and sounds like a cheater, it must be Overeem.

  • Reverend Clint

    oh jawsh the only medical advice i take seriously on this site involves ass injury and comes from ryan. maybe carcass since he is english there for superior

  • TheBrowneyeBuddy

    “That’s a pretty terrible doctor…”

    Well, that would depend on what your actually looking for in a “Doctor”.

  • TheBrowneyeBuddy

    BTW: Is arriany catching the testosterone vapors in that picture or what?!

  • Omomatta

    Arent you supposed to go to a sports doctor when you are an athlete of this caliber? I dont think your run of the mill family physician quite makes the cut.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Oh shit Ryan, this is the best writing you’ve ever done!!!  Make sure you label this quote/letter as satire or Dana and Reem will sue!

    Oh man, that was good stuff.

  • Letibleu

    The following sentence is false. The preceding sentence is true. Are these sentences true or false?

  • frickshun

    ^^Completely Tralse.