Yes, this post is a bit stale … I’d planned on writing this post a while back. Ya know, back around when the Guida-Aurelio fight actually happened. But better late than never, as my parole officer always says. Actually, she says “If you’re late again I’ll throw you back in jail”. Fucking bitch. Little does she know I’ll never go back in … I’ll fucking kill her and I’ll fucking kill everyone else at the police station before I go back.
Anyways, Clay Guida and Marcus Aurelio engaged in fisticuffs at the previous UFC74, resulting in a decision win for the scrappy Clay. While the fight didn’t exactly set the world on fire, I was on the edge of my seat the whole time because I was finally witnessing a first in the UFC: a decision involving Clay Guida where there was no possible way he could get fucked over! Clay clearly controlled the fight, pushing Marcus around the ring like his bitch and landing strikes continuously through the match. Aurelio seemed like he forgot to train any takedowns and couldn’t mount any kind of offensive. There was no way the judges were going to give him this fight. Or so I thought.
Split decision. Yep, that’s right. In a fight where Clay clearly dominated from start to finish, he still almost lost on the judges’ scorecards. It seems to me like crotchety old judges around the world are sending a clear message to Clay: Cut your damn hair, you filthy hippy. And that’s more than a joke, too. Every time Clay gets punched or nearly punched, it looks way worse than it is because his hair is flopping all over the place. It’s a standard pro wrestler trick: long hair makes it easier to fake being punching. Of course, this isn’t pro wrestling and Clay Guida isn’t trying to trick people into thinking he’s getting hit. So the hair works as a very real disadvantage for the gritty wrestler.
In conclusion, I really don’t know what to say here. Cutting Clay Guida’s hair would be like covering Michaelangelo’s David’s penis. It’s just wrong! You have to let beauty fly free, be it in the form of greasy hair or tiny cocks.