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Another UK card without a championship match

The UFC does it again! Another fucking show in the UK with no belt on the line. Instead, we get Bisping vs Leben, which should at least be entertaining. But come on … it’s not even a #1 contender match, for fuck’s sake. What drives me ape shit is that the UFC saturates my eardrums with the noton that the UK is an integral part of their plan to take over the world, yet they seem to think they can do it with second rate cards and barely any belts on the line.

To get some perspective on the whole thing, we need to go back in time. If I remember my history lesson, I seem to recall the iron will of the British as Germany carpet bombed their cities. The Nazi’s mistake was thinking that thousands of small bunker busters would do the trick. Now, if you really want to bend the wills of these tea drinking bastard, you can forget about the sissy shit. You’ve got to go Hiroshima on their asses. Only from a series of devastatingly powerful events can really force the UK to surrender and submit to the dominance of the UFC’s smackdown. I’m talking dropping a giant Wanderlai VS Rampage a-bomb, or something so awesome and manly that all newborns in the UK would burst out of the womb with Dan Severn-like mustaches hence forth.

Also, how about NOT booking Marcus Davis on a UK card? They haven’t announced Davis for this event yet, but you know it’s only a matter of time. If they bring Marcus Davis to England once more, I decree that every UK fan of this site must track down the “Irish Handgranade” and kindly remind him, through a severe beating, that he is about as Irish as Jennifer Lopez. Sure, he’s been getting a bit more entertaining lately, but I’m sick of his whole “I’m Irish duuurrr” shtick. No you’re not. And your goddamn nickname sucks. I’m sure it sounds badass over in fucking Maine, but that “Irish Handgrenade” shit is still fresh in a lot of people’s minds. You might as well play up your German roots and call yourself “The Incinerator” or something equally horrible.

  • Reverend Clint

    “The Final Solution” would be another good nickname, maybe I should use that one.

  • Higgz

    Don’t forget that Great Britain came over here once and got their asses handed to them on a platter with their iron wills served as a side dish…CUE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN HERE!!!!

    (sorry for the rare burst of patriotism, perhaps blowing crap up to honor of my independance has taken too strong of a hold)

  • derreck

    MMA Mania is reporting UFC 89 will be free on Spike so F’ the English without title fights…haha

  • DonnyG

    Is everyone sure that they are not waiting for Anderson Silva to demolish Irvin to announce Silva vs. Okami on this card?

  • Denton

    The German “Incinerator”… LMFAO Oohh man, that was pretty bad, dude… Hilariously bad.

  • Denton

    “Final Solution” FTW!

  • x5BoltMainx

    If it’s free on SPIKE, then the hell with the Brits. I want my free tv!

  • garth

    free when? at 2 in the afternoon, live, or later on tape so i can’t look at my intertubes channels?

  • jakey

    free on tv and they re havin a regular ppv the week or 2 weeks after Yeah man that marcus davis is a pain in the ass never shuts the fuck up when he wins. Glad mike “matchstick” swick beat him last time so i didnt have to listen to him droning on about the fuckin potato famine

  • Kris

    Tape delay.

  • goo

    I wasn’t that surprised by him not going as the Irish Hand Grenade in Ireland, but surely England would be sore about it too. The IRA did bomb England.

  • Hammer

    I guess we give the Brits our garbage. I cant believe Leben is a headliner anywhere.. Wow..

  • Carcass

    “Don’t forget that Great Britain came over here once and got their asses handed to them on a platter with their iron wills served as a side dish…CUE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN HERE!!!!”

    Are you referring to the War Of 1812 where we burned down the White House and routed the American forces before getting bored and going back to Cananananada?

    Or 1776 where Britain lost to British people?

    Less of the nationalistic crap please. No-one likes America these days and that’s a big part of it.

    In other news, yes, UK cards recently have been crap. What the hell happened to stuff like Rampage/Hendo??

    I would probably crap my pants if I could see Wandy vs Rampage III in the UK though…

  • Hammer

    Haven’t you heard?? The UK is our favorite colony…

  • Higgz

    “No-one likes America these days and that’s a big part of it.”

    Actually I’m pretty sure it has more to do with us starting wars based on hearsay than being proud of where we come from.

    And I make no apologies for my patriotism on the eve of our Independance day. I’m all hopped up on the holiday spirit…


  • Hattori Hanzo aka Ghostface Killah

    call yourself “The Incinerator” hilarious omg

  • ajadoniz

    Irish Handgrenade being fresh in everyone’s mind?! Fuck off, no one cares.

  • Tho up

    So now Brits not only have bad teeth, but bad UFC fight cards….. Have a pint mate. and go enjoy your cloudy day..

  • Jester

    Are these the kind of cards Dana White plans on conquering India and the Philippines with?? I hope Affliction tears a hole in his UFC rectum..

  • Rhett Moir

    You sure there not just waiting till after the Silve v Irvin fight to announce Silva v Okami as the main event?

  • Reverend Clint

    Silva v Lesnar will be the main event

  • jakey

    leben bisping should be a good scrap – dont really like either of their styles much so at least the fight means we ll hopefully see less of the loser in future hmmm but that logic didnt seem to apply to fighters like jorge gurgel or sakara ps fightlinker your started a whole bunch of bad jokes about terrorists and gas chambers there dude

  • Donk

    With the majority of talent in the UFC how can they struggle to put together Mega cards. It is mind boggling that it’s Affliction that puts together the best American card in history, not the UFC.

  • wayne gretzky

    >You’ve got to go Hiroshima on their asses.

    I’d rather say to go hebe on their ass and gas them but potato, potatoe….

  • Suparaf

    the incinerator line was priceless hahaha…

    way to go jake

  • Jester

    Can we leave Leben in the UK?? Go Serena!!! God I love that lumpy ass……..



  • machinegunfunk

    i wonder who can come up with the most offensive fighter nickname we’ve got a hell of a start, im gonna have to go with final solution hahaha

  • Hooked

    Leben is a bludger!!!!!.. To use the local UK vernacular..

    Translation- Hack……..