The UFC does it again! Another fucking show in the UK with no belt on the line. Instead, we get Bisping vs Leben, which should at least be entertaining. But come on … it’s not even a #1 contender match, for fuck’s sake. What drives me ape shit is that the UFC saturates my eardrums with the noton that the UK is an integral part of their plan to take over the world, yet they seem to think they can do it with second rate cards and barely any belts on the line.
To get some perspective on the whole thing, we need to go back in time. If I remember my history lesson, I seem to recall the iron will of the British as Germany carpet bombed their cities. The Nazi’s mistake was thinking that thousands of small bunker busters would do the trick. Now, if you really want to bend the wills of these tea drinking bastard, you can forget about the sissy shit. You’ve got to go Hiroshima on their asses. Only from a series of devastatingly powerful events can really force the UK to surrender and submit to the dominance of the UFC’s smackdown. I’m talking dropping a giant Wanderlai VS Rampage a-bomb, or something so awesome and manly that all newborns in the UK would burst out of the womb with Dan Severn-like mustaches hence forth.
Also, how about NOT booking Marcus Davis on a UK card? They haven’t announced Davis for this event yet, but you know it’s only a matter of time. If they bring Marcus Davis to England once more, I decree that every UK fan of this site must track down the “Irish Handgranade” and kindly remind him, through a severe beating, that he is about as Irish as Jennifer Lopez. Sure, he’s been getting a bit more entertaining lately, but I’m sick of his whole “I’m Irish duuurrr” shtick. No you’re not. And your goddamn nickname sucks. I’m sure it sounds badass over in fucking Maine, but that “Irish Handgrenade” shit is still fresh in a lot of people’s minds. You might as well play up your German roots and call yourself “The Incinerator” or something equally horrible.