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At long last … the Cain Velasquez caning

  • Reverend Clint

    My friends used to shoot themselves in the arms and legs with soft air guns at point blank range and in woodshop a friend would taze himself… in the balls.

    Good video, the surprise one on the first cheek was FTW

  • McBayne

    My name is jake, I hate teen wolf and wear atheist apparel, herp derp

    in all seriousness, thanks, any longer and we all would’ve forgotten about it

  • subo

    I so wanted to be the first to comment, but given Clint’s fixation with men’s asses I’ll take being second

    Now I can start writing again

  • Reverend Clint

    ha subo your 3rd… bitch

  • Strike Witch

    im not clicking that

  • Geoffr0y

    I laughed my fucking ass off and found it strangely satisfying, I knew you guys would get around to it eventually. I’ll throw this up on Twiitter (@Geoffr0y, no BS just interesting articles and funny ass videos). I’ll make sure the world gets to see Ryans Caning… Awesome!

  • Komodo

    Let this be a lesson to you mister.

  • themachiavellian

    I’m so glad I suggested this – I laughed my ass off watching this before work. Your technique was awful, but it got the job done. How’s Ryan sitting?

  • Marley Marl

    about time haha, finally. Was well done!

  • epic

    Strangely satisfying, no homo.

  • bradford621

    None of your cane strikes looked like they did any pain or damage. So basically what I just watched amounted to softcore gay s&m. Thanks guys!

  • netterbog

    This is the gayest thing I’ve seen in 2010. And I went to two Elton John concerts in Hawaii’ famous lavendar fields.

  • dawgbone

    ^ It’s only gay if you got chubby from it.

  • Grappo

    nice floor

  • FiveBoltMain

    It’s about time!

  • Omomatta

    Nice Ryan.

    FBM, put your pants back on right now!

  • glassjawsh

    outstanding, ryan looks exactly like you’d think he would. go buy some propecia/finesteride you might be able to salvage your hair!

  • kwagnuth

    Thanks for the laugh guys. Another classic for the fightlinker video archives.

  • subo

    Yeah seriously Ryan, do you shave your legs or something

  • G Funk

    Thats not a cane you pussy!!!


    Ahh about time. I gotta say, jake was kinda bitching out on the hits.

    Ps-where you been G, and im glad you found a even gayer picture.

  • greenseed

    lol strangely satisfying indeed. the only shitty thing is now ryan probably wont want to write as many posts, as im sure it doesnt feel to good to sit. now what are the other humiliations left? jake getting slapped and 1 other? subo knows. that man never forgets

  • glassjawsh

    ^ piss drink lyoto machida style!!!!!!! I’m still in if subo could ever come up with terms

  • emil

    Good going guys!
    And happy fucking birthday Ryan!

  • subo

    glass – Is now really the time to brag about how I almost made you drank piss because of your foolish Florian prediction?

  • NinjaCodah

    You didn’t hit hard enough Jake! Ryan didn’t even bleed!

  • repenttokyo

    i hope you burned that cane afterwards.

  • CAP

    I thought you were getting caned…not slapped with a back scratcher. I need to see some bruises to make this legit.

  • Rhufio

    we need pics of the aftermath !

  • FiveBoltMain

    Omo, don’t get jealous.

  • subo

    repent – I’d fear the fumes.

  • Amy

    Jake is the worst Dom ever. Just saying…

  • fightlinker

    Took some pictures a few mins ago, will post them up in here as soon as I can get my computer to see my damned phone

  • dulljake

    ^ People would have preferred I do a better job at being a Dom? That’s just weird

  • Reverend Clint

    what kinda phone do you have ryan? Do canadians get cool cell phones?

  • themachiavellian

    It’s that we wanted to see Ryan get a nice set of stripes.


    Wow… what a riot. I enjoyed that more than I thought… but not in a weird way, really (definitely no chub). I normally wouldn’t ask for anything like this, but are we gonna see follow up photos of Ryan’s ass after it “ripens”?

  • subo

    ^ I used that question on a hooker last night. She didn’t believe me.

  • Grass Hoppa

    Good shit fellas, i laughed my ass off!

  • Jarman

    those needed to be one handed, full swings! I know 110lb asian schoolgirls who hit harder than that!

  • Reverend Clint

    ^you know Fivebolt?

  • godzillad

    I can’t believe Jake kept touching the cane after it had been all over Ryan’s ass.

  • Capt.Shank

    That wasn’t a cain and why the fuck did i think u were getting hit in the nuts the whole time? Happy you didn’t but i really thought that’s why it took so long.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Hilarious work.

    Disappointing after the delay based on technique. Wasn’t there a dom who actually knows how to snap a cane that was gonna do this?

    Also, nice mansion you guys live in. I’m glad the malware has been worth it.

  • agentsmith

    ^^ I was gonna say, that house doesn’t look like the shithole that they make it sound like.

  • Blackula Jonez

    small thin canes (even though it looked more like a switch) do more damage from speed (one handed) than power (two handed)

    still glad to finally get this over with, are the worsties a forgone conclusion though?

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    See that? Even Count Chocula gets it!

    Didn’t Jake ever see Game of Death? Hilariously great pre-photoshop photoshopping in that flick. But the main thing is his raping of Inosanto with a thin cane.

  • sandstorm

    hahaha this is great stuff.

  • I am the Liquor

    Man, I thought it was bad that you kept putting it off. But that “cane” topped it. What was that? A crazy straw? Honestly man, dont do the crime if you cant do the time. Or to put it another way, dont write cheques your ass cant cash.