 |
 |
 |
 |
Paul Harris melts for a woman named Sack
The world’s most adorable carcass quarterer has done something precious again. It seems that the UFC has published a web show is called Up Close and Personal with Paula Sack. Nothing out of the ordinary there. What’s special is that during this episode, Rousimar Palhares acts like a cross between a tittering first grader and Pepé le Pew before letting out a bashful “oh, man!” when hot chick Paula Sack shows up at his gym chanting “Let’s go, Toquinho!”
Evidently, this is the first time someone has filmed the way that Palhares gets so ripped. He lifted for three of a total of 13 workouts during the week when this was filmed, he started off with a 300kg leg press, which he followed up with a respectable 135 pounds on the bench. He then maxed out at over 300 pounds on the bench and did the clean and jerk with what appeared to be 275 pounds or so.
Palhares is so vicious with leglocks and generally insane that every time he does something cute, like eating a dog food-flavored birthday cake, it’s like water to the parched daisy of our souls. Skip to 1:14 of the above video to see him swoon at getting attention from a hot chick for the first time since being let out of that basement a few years back.
UFC champion Jon Jones’ UFC sponsor will be the UFC
(At least it’ll be better than the “BONES” hat and Endicott jacket)
There can be no doubt that Jon Jones represents the image of everything the UFC wants to stand for. Not only does he do pretty much everything the UFC asks him to, including making an absolute fool of himself by trying to talk on television, he also puts forth a nice, clean, orthodox Christian image by promoting alcohol, fathering children out of wedlock, calling himself “Sexual Chocolate” before the big-money folks stepped in and made him change it a-la Chad “Money Shot” Mendes, and getting tattoos (Christian tattoos, mind you). So it should be no surprise that the UFC felt comfortable enough to become his clothing sponsor for his fight against Rashad Evans next Saturday:
I’ve had a goal of being sponsored by Nike for many, many years. Part of our strategy to try and make that happen one day is to not be a billboard, and not just be sponsored by TapouT one week, and Affliction one week, and then MusclePharm next week, and all these random companies. If you realize, I try to look for relationships with companies, long lasting relationships with companies. So a part of my brand is to keep it clean. Less is more in my opinion.
When Form Athletics went down pretty much every company in the business was looking for an opportunity to work with me, and I was really honored just to be wanted like that. I thought it was really awesome, it was a real honor. We came up with a strategy to keep it clean and be sponsored by the UFC itself. I’m glad the UFC wanted to work with me as well, and I think that they trust that I’ll never make them look bad. You never have to worry about me with a DWI or doing something crazy.
I think I’m a good company guy. The UFC asks me to do anything and I always do it, and I never tell them no for anything…They put in the deal that if any mainstream companies come after this win that they will let me go, and I think that’s awesome.
It’s nice to see the UFC dedicate its clothing sponsorship money to a fighter who would basically be starving if it wasn’t for this deal. I’m pretty sure that if the UFC hadn’t stepped in to sponsor Jones, he would have had to choose between selling his crappy car to pay his electric bill or living in an old refrigerator box in an alley.
Now the biggest questions are the following: will the UFC charge itself an annual sponsor fee? Will the UFC ban itself as a clothing sponsor when it inevitably rubs Fox the wrong way? What about if it decides to branch out from being a clothing sponsor to promoting fights? It should be lots of fun to kick back and watch the UFC’s incipient case of multiple personality disorder unfold before our very eyes.
California legislator proposes fighters’ bill of rights
Leave it up to the bleeding-heart liberals in the Land of Fruits and Nuts (i.e., California) to try to force their over-intrusive big government “fairness” down our collective gullet. First they took away our right to own our own f*cking pets. As if that wasn’t bad enough, now they’re proposing to not only force MMA promoters to stop handcuffing fighters into exploitative contracts, but also force contributions to a pension fund so that they’ll be taken care of when they’ve lost their ability to amuse us by sustaining brain damage. Pshaw! FightOpinion has the lowdown on Assembly Bill 2100, amended on April 9 by California State Legislator Luis Alejo:
AB 2100 authorizes the State Athletic Commission to revoke or refuse to renew the license of any mixed martial arts (MMA) promoter in California that participates in coercive and unfair contracting practices. This bill also extends the scope of the Boxers’ Pension Plan to include professional MMA fighters licensed in California.
First, let’s take a look at the anti-coercion section of the bill, which has become known in legal circles as the “F*ck Zuffa Clause”:
The commission shall revoke or refuse to renew the license of any mixed martial arts promoter that enters into a contract with a mixed martial arts fighter in the state of California if the contract contains one or more coercive provisions. A contract provision shall be considered coercive to the extent that it does any of the following:
- (1) Assigns any future merchandising rights to a promoter beyond the term of the promotional contract.
- (2) Automatically renews the contract or extends the term without good faith, arms-length negotiation.
- (3) Grants the promoter a right to match the terms of a competing offer or contract.
- (4) Grants the promoter a right to enter into exclusive negotiations with a mixed martial arts fighter.
- (5) Restricts a mixed martial arts fighter from sponsoring another firm, product, or individual.
- (6) Requires a mixed martial arts fighter to relinquish any legal claims for negligence that the fighter has, or may acquire in the future, against the promoter.
- (7) Restricts a mixed martial arts fighter from contracting with another promoter.
- (8) Requires a mixed martial arts fighter to forfeit any rights as a condition precedent to the fighter’s participation in a contest.
No word yet on whether Zuffa intends to pull a Zuffa and sue California for the theft of its official fighter contract form, which Alejo photocopied onto construction paper before writing “ILLEGAL” in red crayon and pointing at the text with a giant arrow accompanied by some doodles of Jon Fitch. California also wants to extend its Boxers’ Pension Fund to MMA fighters, and in order to get the money, they’re planning on collecting a 5% tax on TV revenues from MMA fights – sound familiar?
The rest after the jump
NickTheFace’s UFC 146 trailer: RIP Overeem vs. Dos Santos
If you’re like me, you were really looking forward to the Overeem vs. Dos Santos fight at UFC 146. Heck, a part of me still wants to see Overeem fight Dos Santos, so hopefully he was smart and got one of thoseprescription thingies before he rode the needle. If you’re looking for that “really expensive champagne room with no handjob” experience, NickTheFace (whose trailers are some of the best out there in any sport) has you covered with an awesome &feature=player_embedded" target="_blank">Overeem vs. Dos Santos trailer.
The knockout highlights… the musical smoothness of a canned “synthesizer and synthesized piano” track… the jump ropes… it all convinces me further that I really want to see this fight. Even the quotes from the fighters are compelling, even if they turn into parodies of themselves: Overeem is “excited to be fighting for the title,” and Dos Santos thinks that “If you are a good person, things happen.”
Unfortunately, if you are an asshole, things happen too. And make no mistake about it, Overeem REALLY looks like an asshole in retrospect for the whole drug testing issue before the Lesnar fight. Amazingly few people were suspicious at the time about why Overeem took a month to render a sample when he was supposed to do it within a day. Overeem couldn’t be bothered, they all said; you have to go through his management, he fled the country to be with his sick mother, and he can’t speak English anyway. Now that we know the truth, we are forced to cope with the fact that he was using his mother’s cancer as a prop to avoid being drug tested. Stay classy, Al!
I was so convinced that Overeem was clean that this has upset my entire worldview. Now I see little choice but to give up on hard work and dedication in favor of drugs and more drugs. That seems to be the only way to get ahead these days. Maybe if I start doing lots of meth, I’ll stop sleeping and therefore earn more money…
Fightlinker takes you inside UFC 1’s program
It’s extremely rare that we here at Fightlinker bring you material that we didn’t rip off from other websites. That’s kinda our thing. But today, dear jackals, you are in luck! Because you get an exclusive inside look at UFC 1 … okay, just the program from UFC 1, but that’s still pretty good. You know you’re reading Fightlinker when you see “primary source material” that is in itself derivative of a derivative of actual event. Sure, this may be a slight ripoff of a copy of the accompaniment to an event that took place almost 19 years ago, but god damnit, I took the pictures myself. That’s surely good for SOMETHING.
It seems that right before going totally bonkers while wearing a sombrero, Art “One Glove” Jimmerson decided that he wouldn’t mind some money and eBayed a stack of UFC 1 programs he had been hoarding. I bought one, and from it, I learned the following interesting facts:
- The UFC was originally planning a ban on “repeated, intentional groin strikes,” but this rule was scratched before the event because the old UFC heads decided that " target="_blank">they hated Joe Son just as much as we do.
- The UFC was originally planning on having five five-minute rounds with overtime rounds “called for” if no one died before the time expired.
- Pat Smith has 9 ½” ankles.
- UFC 1 was sanctioned by a body called the “International Fighting Council,” whatever the f*ck that is.
- Jim Brown is a true champion whose tireless devotion is evident in everything he does.
- Move over, UFC Gym: the “Official Fight Gym of the UFC” is Jones Tai-Kung Fu-Karate McDojo in Westminster, CO.
- Ken Shamrock’s (32 ½”) and Royce Gracie’s (32”) waist sizes are only different by half an inch, and they are about half the girth of Telia Tuli’s (59”).
See pictures of all the pages in the program after the jump!
Kimbo’s last opponent denies taking a dive
When Kimbo Slice decided to go the pro boxing route, I figured he would be entering the realm of Don King style heads-I-win-tails-you-lose contracts and babying via cupcake opponents. But certainly it would be below boxing to organize something that wasn’t totally legitimate, savory, and above-board. In short, I figured that the days of James Thompson stoppages and standgate were behind us. But when I saw last weekend’s video of his knockout win over Brian Green with three seconds left in the fight, I had my suspicions that Gary Shaw was dicking us over from beyond the grave once again.
Even steroid expert Sean McCorkle thinks that something fishy was going on. However, Kimbo’s opponent Brian Green (who is 27-17 in MMA and weighs all of 180 lbs) says he would never take a dive for anyone. NEVER! He made his impassioned plea on the world’s official PR platform, facebook:
Finally the cloudiness of a KO Saturday night is wearing off mostly…. Still got a BROKEN ORBITAL BONE (even though I was supposedly taking a dive the whole fight and Kimbo wasn’t REALLY fighting me apparently until the very last combination which he lands 3 consecutive punches ON THE BUTTON which turned out my lights)
Well, I took this biggest opportunity I ever have been given, and gave it my all. In the end, Kimbo Slice Placed 3 consecutive punches together and all three connected clean. AFTER I was winning on all 3 judges score cards..
I put everything on the line with this fight, to have thousands of people hating on me claiming I took a dive. smh. I can not believe this, and it really makes me sick.
700,000 Youtube views of people watching ONLY THE LAST ROUND (after I was gassed in the second round) where I got KO’d and 80% of them claiming I took a dive with ONLY THREE SECONDS LEFT!!!!
…. THREE SECONDS LEFT…. Who does that? seriously. . . Now I have a 60 day medical suspension and can not fight the last person who beat me in an MMA Fight 8 fights ago which leaves that promoter in a bad position
Which I am sorry for. (A re match I have also been BEGGING for, for an entire year now) And I will be missing out on an opportunity to make the most money I EVER have in my hometown with all of my recent success of 7 consecutive Wins. (Sponsors backing me up, Selling more tickets than I EVER HAVE at home, my biggest purse yet to date with the organization, and lastly, the REVENGE of beating the guy who beat me at home..
I KNEW I HAD TO make it to a decision, so I only got a 7 day suspension, and i could fight my upcoming fight April 13, (20 days after Kimbo)
I took the fight against Kimbo, because I truly don’t feel he is a legit pro fighter…. He is a savage brawler, and also BACK IN HIS DAY, was very very dangerous…. Now he is old, and I knew I could last a decision… No way did I think I could actually WIN IT. Then at the end of the first round, I felt myself avoiding his bombs, and finding a home for my punches.
THEN I also thought that he would REALLY be out of shape, because his original opponent had backed out and they hadn’t found a replacement yet, so I figured he hadn’t been training THAT hard.
Avoid the BIG punches, and last a DECISION= Make a HUGE name for yourself, especially for me being a submission guy! You can see how hard he was throwing in the first round when he was fresh, and that he was trying to take my head off…. I think I got in his head at the weigh ins getting in his face, and telling him “I aint scared” and repeating that in the ring at fight TIME!
I ate a couple good punches early, and felt him getting tired. after landing good shots on him, I eventually started telling him “You wasn’t expecting THIS was you?!?!” Trying even more to get in his head, and make him doubt himself, and feel threatened.
I WISH i would have got paid extra for all this CRAP I am receiving…
And thanks to those of you who take the time to congratulate me. Those who KNOW I would NEVER take a dive in ANY fight.
I ALMOST beat that Monster. Think I BS’d? BOOK THE FIGHT AGAIN. with an actual CAMP to prepare for him…. Even on only 2 weeks notice. I will SMOKE that fool. PEACE
Well, that seals the deal: with all those caps, this guy has to be telling the truth. The world will keep on turning, Cris Cyborg’s monthly steroid tests will completely clear her name, and we can all keep telling ourselves that it’s not a form of exploitation to be fans of Kimbo. However, now that Kimbo has the highest rate of suspicious occurrences in fights this side of Nobuhiko Takada, I invite all interested parties to post their photoshops of Kimbo hitting a gong in a diaper in the comments section.
Videos of the other three rounds of the match can be seen here.
