MMAJunkie has an interview with Jon “Nyquil” Fitch in which he blames everybody but himself for being poor. He blames the economy, sponsors, low appearance fees, his 2 mortgages, being injured and living in California.
Well right off the bat I can solve a few of his problems… move the fuck out of California. I’m planning on leaving myself and I’m poor as fuck. This asshat bought a condo and then another house for him and his boring ass baby. He could move practically anywhere in the country, he could move the MMA mecca Las Vegas for super cheap since they are practically giving away houses there. Move back to bum fuck Indiana where it all began. You have opportunities and flexibility unlike many Americans. Pack up your truck, boat and whatever else you bought and skip town. You mention Koscheck living in Fresno and it being too far to visit. THEN MOVE. I spent 2 seconds on Craigslist and found a 4 bed, 2 bath house for under $180K just outside Fresno. Sure its not easy to move with a kid but my family did it.
Moving on to sponsors and appearances… maybe you should become less boring. Finish a fight or even fight a fight once in a while. The only companies that will sponsor you are Sanofi-Aventis, makers of Ambien, and who ever the fuck makes urinal cakes. You are so boring that when you fight John Kerry leaves the room to take a piss. Nobody wants to be associated with a loser. And nobody want a losers autograph, just ask Ken Shamrock. Sure the economy is in the crapper but you get paid mad money to lay on other men.
As to injuries and loses… come on man. Suck it up and quit playing the blame game. Bad shit happens to good people and bad shit happens to you too.
Every MMA fans dream
I’m a talentless hack so here are some Photoshops to get that dirty mind going. Some of these are kinda hot, some of them are just unfortunate.
More after the jump!