Ben Askren to Take His Human Blanket Act on the Road

Ben Askren to Take His Human Blanket Act on the Road

Bellator welterweight king and professional man-hugger Ben Askren may find himself with a new boss soon, as current boss Bjorn Rebney has gone on record saying that when Askren’s contract soon expires, the number two MMA organization in the world doesn’t want him. Said Rebney to ESPN:

“If Ben’s going to the UFC, we should speed up that process so he can go fight. I’d love to see Ben versus GSP.”

Of course, we heard all this before when Eddie Alvarez was on the cusp of testing free agency and everyone was playing UFC matchmaker in their heads wondering how the star lightweight would stack up against Benson Henderson, Clay Guida, Anthony Pettis and the like. In that instance, Rebney’s words meant nothing, and Alvarez was soon given the prison rape-treatment in the courts (with Bellator’s attorneys playing the role of “Bubba the cellmate” and his rolled up contract playing the role of the toothbrush – what, you never watched “Oz”?). Yet this somehow rings truer. After all, Askren may be at the top of the 170-pound heap in Bellator, but with his smothering, “I’m going to lay on top of you until you love me”-style, the dude is not the most exciting fighter out there. Why would Bellator want to keep someone like that around?

Here are some facts you might not have known about Askren, courtesy of Wikipedia, crap saved on my DVR, and a mind addled by 20 years of watching MMA:

  • Askren debuted in Bellator in 2010 and won via controversial technical submission (i.e., the ref thought there was a sub there). He didn’t finish another opponent for nearly three years. Three years!
  • He didn’t throw a punch until his fifth fight in Bellator, and that was only when he was shadowboxing during his warm-up.
  • At Bellator 64, Askren successfully defended his belt by laying on Douglas Lima for five full rounds. Nine months later, Lima gave birth to a son. They named him Pedro.
  • He’s boring.
  • He’s boring.
  • Good God is he boring.
  • Doogie Howser, M.D.

    When’s Ryan coming back?

  • CoachD

    That was a useless article! I want the 1.5 minutes it took me to read that back!

  • CoachD

    Just bleed, bro!

  • iamphoenix

    I remember when Fightlinker used to make me laugh. Jim Genia is the Ben Askren of writing.

  • CAP

    Rec’d

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