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Bisping softens his team up for defeat

On this week’s episode of the Ultimate Fighter, Michael Bisping improved his reputation as an awesome coach by beating the shit out of Stephan Bass, the guy who was set to fight a few days from then. “You wanna just completely gas me so I can’t fight???” guy asks Bisping. But cardio is important! Just look how badly it went for Stephen when he shockingly had no energy to fight Dennis Bermudez. Funny enough, Bermudez did exactly what Bisping did to Bass in the gif above. Guess they should have trained those positions even more, huh?

Things didn’t get much better for Bisping in the second fight of the episode when his number 1 pick, Louis Gaudinot, got taken out by Dustin ‘Jesus Freak’ Pague. That makes Mayhem 4-0 thus far this season, leading many to think this might be the year Ken Shamrock finally gets knocked off his perch as poopiest TUF coach evar.

I don’t 100% blame Bisping for his team’s failures. Sure, his cornering style is about as helpful as a dad screaming “SWING! SWING YOU DUMB SHIT!” at his kid during softball games. And if he didn’t totally wear Stephen Bass out, he at least borked the dumb kid’s brain and psyched him out. As far as the Gaudinot loss goes, if you’re educated enough about your opponent’s strengths and weaknesses, getting to pick the matchups gives you a crazy, crazy advantage. Jason Miller has thus far proven he knows how to matchmake. He’s also proven why letting coaches pick the fights isn’t exactly the fairest way to run things on TUF. The American Idol style voting system for next season may be kinda dumb, but at least it will stop one coach from using pick control to crush the other.

Next week, a weigh-in brawl has even the coaches getting in on the shoving. Good thing Phoenix Jones ain’t around or there’d be a pepper-sprayin all right. They’d all get pepper sprayed real good.

  • Danjo

    I want to see a team member punch Pissbing.

    Either team, doesn’t matter.

    Hell, at this point I think Pissbing’s team would like to.

  • Kale

    No mention of Rampage when talking of the worst TUF coaches ever? How quickly we forget.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Rampage was turrible.  But worst?  How quickly we forget Team Take The Day Off And Then Train With A Bodybuilder.

  • CAP

    Still haven’t watched an episode. Wasted dvr space.

  • iamphoenix

    ^same here cap.

    lololol at the phoenix jones line ryan fightlinker. me gusta

  • KeyboardWarrior

    Next ep looks juicy, looks like it’ll make up for the lack of drama in this one. Bings cornering style is impregnable, don’t get why he keeps losing…

  • Danjo

    I’ve watched it all so far.

    I like the fights, and I like some of the fighters.

    Miller is funny and seems to be a good coach. He’s got the hearts and minds of his group buying in to what he is teaching.

    Pissbing, on the other hand, has fighters talking shit about him behind his back, and one even talking shit to him to his face after he lost his fight. You can see it in their eyes and hear it in their words; they know that they are very much alone in the TUF scene, with no real leader to guide them. If one of Team Pissbing ends up winning it all, I will be very fucking surprised because they will be doing it all on their own, more or less.

    Fuck Pissbing.

  • CAP

    ^That makes me want to start watching. Fuel more hate for Pissbing. If that’s possible.

  • frickshun

    Thanks a lot Phoenigga, you fucker. I came in here to laugh @ the same joke. Now I feel like a copy (nyan) cat & a follower.

  • P W

    First season of TUF I don’t even fast forward through. I used to tell myself I better watch TUF no matter if I like it or not just to get to know the fighters, because fuck knows the UFC will keep shoving TUF rejects down my throat for years to come. But now I just don’t give a fuck anymore, instead I fast-forward through the regular events too, to get to the fight I care about. Problem solved.

  • iamphoenix

    ^lol sounds like you have a VCR.

    beat you off to it frick.

    …i’m just here for the jokes and silly balls…UFC Ultimate Cage is second. Obviously.

  • P W

    ^ Maybe I should have said “skipping” instead? Skip forward?

  • Danjo

    Mostly, I was glad to see Bedford win against that fucking prick, Josh Ferguson. Go home and cry with your brother that didn’t even make it in to the house you hilbilly fag.

    Also, LOL @ Pissbing’s #1 pick getting beat by the Jesus Freak. I actually like Gaudinot, the little green haired Diego Sanchez lookalike. He should be good for some laughs in the house.

  • Danjo

    I got a funny screencapture of the episode where they picked teams. Look at Pissbing’s stupid face.

  • Reverend Clint

    looks like tiki was givin him a hand job