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Bobby Lashley Ready to Swim with the Sharks

No, sillies, that doesn’t mean he’s going to fight legitimate competition from here on out. Rather, Bobby Lashley has signed with Shark Fights in his ongoing quest to teach the world what sort of conditioning they should avoid if ever hoping to compete as a high-level Mixed Martial Artist.

According to FoxSports , the fighter who often flounders when it comes to cardio has inked a deal with Shark Fights.

“There is nobody better than him right now that’s out there,” said the promotion’s possibly drunk CEO Bud Brutsman. “By signing Bobby were saying we’re willing to put our money out there to make it happen, and bring in and sign the bigger-name talent, and not just has-beens and nobodies.”

On the topic of Lashley’s talent, though 6-1 with wins over Wes Sims, Jason Guida, and Bob Sapp (guffaw!), he has only fought a single time in 2011 where he could barely put away a regular middleweight and is 35-years old. To Brutsman’s point, clearly he is not a has-been in MMA; he’s a never-was.

“It’s going to be big for us. When you’re a little organization you need to make some noise, and Bobby is the perfect one to make some noise,” Brustman finished while almost certainly neck-deep in a substance akin to his first name.

If that noise is the same as the one you make when you put your palms to your face and blow, mission accomplished. No date was mentioned as a target for Lashley’s lackluster, likely-to-involve-hands-on-knees-panting debut in the organization.

  • iamphoenix

    bobby lashley wasn’t in Shark Night 3D wtf are you talking about…

  • agentsmith

    He wasn’t the black guy who gets killed at the beginning?

  • FiveBoltMain

    i just remember gianna michaels getting killed :(

  • iamphoenix

    ^that’s a nasty bitch dude. i should have never googley searched her.

  • iamphoenix

    Appears that Bobby Lashley is not ready to swim with the sharks.

  • glassjawsh

    ^ of course not. everyone knows jazz band players (jpbs) can’t swim

  • iamphoenix

    correction: JBP’s

  • glassjawsh

    ^ wouldn’t that imply that the jazz band players own something? and we all know that’s never the case (ok I’ll stop)

  • iamphoenix

    i see what you did there…but was more fixing it from your (jpbs) jazz players band to the correct (JBP) jazz band player.

  • Letibleu
  • Reverend Clint

    Joan Butters Penis?

  • Komodo

    “There is nobody better than him right now that’s out there,” said the promotion’s possibly drunk CEO Bud Brutsman.

     

    LULZ @ that and at Phoenix’s pictard.

  • Letibleu

  • agentsmith

    i just remember gianna michaels getting killed :(

    Wasn’t that in “Piranha”?

  • CAP

    Lashley still fighting??

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    I know most people prefer the remake, but Gianna was great in the original Avatar.

    As much as I dislike Bobby Lashley, he’s better than Kurt Anal.  But that just means he sucks as much as any man willing to follow his dream.  I certainly don’t want to see him fight anywhere until he studies some fucking martial arts.  I don’t think he’s the kind of cat who can trane at an MMA gym – he need specialized training.  Preferably in Jits and Aikido.  He’s too big and stiff to start off striking.

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