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Brittney sucks lollies, talks Playboy


(Don’t ask her where she was keeping that)

We’ve got some Brittney for you guys today in the form of an interview AND pics of her in a white dress so tight it’s strangling her chest puppies to death. Don’t woray, I will saev teh puppehs. B freee, u guys!

Fun fact from the interview:

She began her career in entertainment as a Magician’s Assistant and Dance Captain for the Ultimate Variety Show in 2006. From 2007-2010 she was an Ensemble Dancer for X Burlesque in Las Vegas at the Flamingo Hotel.

Man, magician’s assistants are like the lowest of the low. Translation: she spent her teen years being overly impressed with a scumbag who made his penis disappear into her vagina. It’s a testament to her hotness that she managed to graduate up from jobs like ‘Dance Captain’ and ‘Ensemble Dancer’ to ‘Hottest UFC Octagon Chick’ (deal with it, Arianny). Hot chick careers are strange. Speaking of her own hot chick career moves, here’s how Brittney described being in Playboy:

“Being an art student I am used to being around nude figures so I wasn’t hesitant when I was approached by Playboy. I wouldn’t say this was a dream I had as a little girl, but this is a golden opportunity. My friends and family have been so supportive, they know every decision I have made has helped my career and led me to a better place.”

You mean as a child you didn’t stare at the naughty shelf of pornos in the corner store and dream of one day being up there too? I bet you don’t even have one of those super cheesy Playboy tattoos. Faker.

  • iamphoenix

    Don’t woray, I will saev teh puppehs. B freee, u guys!

    teh awesomes

  • Reverend Clint

    wow that right tit is trying to escape or something

  • SHORT_BUS

    Maybe that’s why her bewbs looked kinda wonky in the Playboy spread, she keeps them wrapped up too tight. I’d still gladly lay a piping hot Cleveland steamer on them though.

  • G Funk

    Her faced looks cut & pasteded in every shot. More shirtless dudes pahlease.

  • Mal666

    lol And photoshop for her playboy shoot was out of control ,probally edited by a one eyed drunk man

  • CAP

    She’s vacuum packed into that thing she can probably barely breathe.

  • agentsmith

    No woman should ever wear a top so tight that it tries to cut her boob in half.

  • frickshun

    I think the problem is that for her implants, instead of going under the muscle…….THEY WENT THROUGH THE NECK.

  • Mal666

    ROFL…. wow

  • Reverend Clint

    Wonder how much she paid the drunk brazilian to do her boob job

  • noiseless

    she’s fat

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