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Brock gets a slap on the wrist

Exhibit A for the Prosecution right here

Brock Lesnar wasn’t required to face the music for his “poaching” charges in Alberta until January 19th, but he nipped the matter in the bud and already sent his lawyer to plead guilty on his behalf.  It turns out the video above (and the photo from our previous article) are actually from the incident in question, so it was kinda hard for him to deny that shit.

Lesnar plead guilty to failing to tag his kill, but the charges of unlawful possession and abandoning edible meat were dropped for some reason, even though the latter infraction is readily apparent in the video and photos.  His fine for this terrible crime was a whopping $1725 CDN… or less than 0.5% of his last fight purse, and that’s not including exchange, let alone his PPV cut or sponsorship earnings.  Oh but wait, he was also banned from hunting in Alberta for 6 months… or until about 3 months before next hunting season opens in September.  Let that be a lesson to the rest of you foreigner criminals!

Lesnar freely admits an honest mistake in not tagging the animal, but as for leaving the meat to rot, he’s basically blaming that on his Canadian guide Chad Stryker (again, sweet name, bro).

As far as the spoilage charge that was withdrawn, Lesnar said he couldn’t bring deer meat back across the border.

“I trusted the outfitter to properly handle it. They are professionals and I understand it was handled appropriately.”

Sorry, but that just sounds like a lame cop-out.  As the pro guide, Stryker definitely should have known better, but it’s not as if this rule is unique to Alberta.  The video above shows them shooting the deer in a steep valley, then Lesnar insists on carrying out the backpack full of meat and the head while Stryker carries nothing.  Obviously most of the animal was left behind, and it seems kinda hard to believe that Brock honestly expected Stryker to come back for the rest later.

Lesnar’s claim that it’s verboten for him to bring deer meat home isn’t accurate either.  According to the state of Minnesota, it’s only forbidden to import whole carcasses, but boned-out or cut and wrapped meat is allowed, and even quarter sections are fine as long as the head and spine aren’t attached.

Anyway, I don’t think anyone expected this case to be serious stuff, but neither did we expect it to be over almost as fast as Brock’s last fight.  At least now he can get back to the task at hand, preparing for fellow exotic meat-eater Alistair Overeem.  And I tells ya what, when Overeem kills a horse (presumably with his bare hands), you better believe he eats it all.

  • Remco Pardoel

    Part of being a responsible hunter is assessing the location of the game animal before you shoot. If the critter is at the bottom of a canyon or 20 miles from your vehicle or anywhere else that would make harvesting the meat more hassle than it’s worth, DON’T TAKE THE SHOT!

    If you just want to show off your marksmanship, go to the gun range. If you are killing for trophies, grow up. If you want to kill game, do it responsibly, cause no unnecessary suffering, and don’t waste the meat.

    Go shit where you eat, Brock, not in my province.

  • thingvolds

    well said remco.

    brock is a fuckin doucher and i can’t wait to see his reaction when overeem hits him for the first time.

  • CAP

    ^I hope his whole shitbag breaks and he suffocates under his own feces. That’s not too much to ask is it?

  • SHORT_BUS

    Who gives a fuck.

    Never ceases to amaze me how many vaginafied, gossipy, nitpicking complainers are fans of this sport.

  • thingvolds

    sounds to me like your being a vaginafied, gossipy, nitpicking complainer, short_bus.

    and i’m not a fan of the sport.

  • Remco Pardoel

    I gives a fuck because this irresponsible dick is wasting resources that belong to me and other Albertans.

    I gives a fuck because this irresponsible dick is making all hunters look bad because the only time short bus riding goofs hear about hunting, it’s things like this.

    I gives a fuck because this irresponsible dick is setting a shitty example to prospective hunters who believe the sport is about blasting the biggest hole in shit with the biggest, coolest-looking gun.

    Does that answer your question?

  • repenttokyo

    minnesota doesn’t get to decide what comes across the canada / us border. have you ever tried bringing meat across into the US?  It doesn’t work.

  • SHORT_BUS

    @Remco Pardoel

    All he’s guilty of is not immediately tagging the animal, nothing else. Nancy Grace screaming about dead babies in Florida thinks you’re overreacting. Take a couple Midols and have a warm bath, the bleeding and water retention should stop in a few days.

  • agentsmith

    ^ Well it seems pretty fucking obvious he’s guilty of abandoning meat too, they just dropped that charge.  I guess that’s the benefit of showing up early and pleading guilty.

  • iamphoenix

    All hunters in my eyes are stupid hillbilly motherfuckers wanting to shoot their big fancy guns and bullets into things that don’t know you’re about to shoot them. Someone already killed things for you to eat, it’s at the supermarket you stupid sons of bitches. Prepackaged and ready to cook.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    I think anyone over 200 pounds should have to kill animals by hand.  Under 200 gets a knife.

    Where’s your wrestling now, playboy?

  • CAP

    ^The Shocker won’t work on the honey badger I’ll tell you that right now.

  • G Funk

    Humans die easily enough. There’s a plentiful supply too.

  • G Funk

    I’ll fuck a chicken up with my bear hands. Bunnies too!

  • SHORT_BUS

    @ agentsmith

    How is it obvious he’s guilty of abandoning meat?

  • agentsmith

    Like I said in the article, he sure as shit didn’t fit a whole deer in that backpack.  And he basically admitted that they left the rest, he just blamed it on the guide.

  • SHORT_BUS

    In the vid he said he had the rack and 150lbs of meat in the pack he hauled out of the canyon. Looking at the size of that deer, 150lbs of edible meat sounds about right.

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