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Can you trust fitness magazines?

With Forrest Griffin now gracing the cover of Men’s Fitness magazine, I’m reminded of a comment a friend of mine made the other day. If they can airbrush the shit out of someone, and make even the biggest fatass look in shape, why the hell should i trust these fuckers?

To be fair, I added the “fuckers” part, but the question is still pretty valid. The fact that they have been caught, and have admitted they do it makes me seriously question what the pages inside has to offer.

These magazines are usually no different from their female counterparts. They are designed to make you first feel inadequate. Hey buddy, do you have a slight tummy? Well you piece of shit, buy our magazines and we promise to get rid of it for you! Never mind the fact that this is mostly an empty promise.

You have to wonder why anyone interested in those magazines don’t just buy only one since each month it’s the same shit anyways: “Get more out of your ab workout”, “sex tips you can’t go without”, and other fucking warmed up trash. It’s bad enough that this style of magazine exploits the fears and insecurities of women. Now they’re trying to make us feel bad! Next thing you know, I’m crying my eyes out, drowning in a pint of fucking Haagen-Dazs ice cream.

Here’s a thought: why not have a fitness magazine that doesn’t need to hire juiced up motherfuckers who then get photoshoped to shit, and instead focus on respecting your audience a little more? I’m a fitness buff myself; I like reading about all kinds of information on training and nutrition. What I don’t need are false promises and outright lies from a magazine that’s really only an excuse for gay porn.

Also, I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this, but Forrest’s haircut is completely ridiculous on that cover. And hello, someone has got to tell that man that he needs to shave that chest. Treasure trails were acceptable in the pirate days, mister!