Canada secretly training office dwellers to be pasty MMA warriors

I’m no geographical genius, so I can’t point to Halifax on a map but I do know it resides in Canada in the general direction of up and to my right.  Upon further reflection I’m pretty sure it’s in Nova Scotia and produces a shit ton of fisherman and at least one TJ Grant, he of the pointiest elbows that side of the ‘Murican border.  Well, a Halifax gym is looking to add some depth to their fighter roster and is looking no further than… uh, everywhere besides an actual gym.

After two years of trying to get this project off the ground, a Halifax production company is currently filming Cubicle to the Cage, a TUF-like documentary series inside the TitansMMA gym (home of UFC LHW Roger Hollett). Trainers there will whittle down 32 chubby, unskilled, and out-of-shape MMA fans into a few pro contenders and give them their debut pro fight.  On one hand, it could be terrible.  On the other hand it cannot possibly be as terrible as the last season of TUF, which I stubbornly clung to only to be rewarded with the douchiest, bitch face having-est winner in TUF history.  Dare I say the promo for Cubicle to the Cage actually looks interesting?

Sure, these people are mostly way too old and way too late to the game to be an actual threat to anyone, but who amongst us hasn’t wondered what it would be like to absorb an outside leg kick from Jose Aldo?  With both men and women aiming to become pro-fighters here, backgrounds include a barista, the fiancé of a pro fighter, a glass blower, a dentist, a former pro wrestler named Trash Canyon, and a guy who wants to fight Featherweight from his starting weight of 220 (…).  Oh and then there’s Steve “The Calculator” Goodfellow, a VP at Ernst & Young who:

“Six years ago I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, an inflammatory bowel disease with no cure and within a few short months I was shredded!  At less than a hulking 120 pounds I had my entire colon, appendix and rectum removed (too much information?) and was left with an ileostomy.  All of a sudden, I wasn’t able to do basic things like go swimming, take my shirt off in public, play any contact sports, or lie on my side or stomach.  Martial arts was something I had always been fascinated with and had always put off until next year.”

Oh shit.  Just let him bang, bro.  Just let him bang.

Sonny_Adamski-300x199

(By my reckoning he’s already halfway to being the next Rory MacDonald.)

  • Letibleu

    So basically what Matthew Polly did? I bought his book but haven’t read it yet, I had my parents for supper and my dad picked it up and decided he was reading it first.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Not gonna lie, it’s done with Canadians, so it’ll probably be pretty damn charming. Gym is a great set, too.

    I would’ve loved to have seen a production like this follow Polly around, but since that boat has sailed, this will have to do.

  • CAP

    I can’t wait to read Polly’s book too but I’m still still still waiting for it :)

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