Chael Sonnen talks about that federal crime stuff

Chael Sonnen went on the MMA Hour with Ariel Helwani yesterday, fresh off his federal money laundering sentencing. Of course, Chael had a non-explanation for that whole wacky mix-up:

“Money laundering is a very fun term and it makes it sound like I’ve got an exciting story, something you hear in the movies. The fact of the matter is It’s a quirk in real estate law and we were wrong. This deal was done wrong.”

When asked if he could explain what that quirk was, he replied:

“I certainly could but to do that with the time that we have allowed – we don’t – if you wanna get into it I got a pretty good handle on it. It gets to be a pretty sophisticated legal term and i need a pretty sophisticated representation to exactly explain hey where are the problems here and what exaclty went wrong. It was a little confusing to me because I didn’t gain anything, that was my biggest confusion. I go wait a minute, I didn’t make a dollar here and I don’t know anyone who did. I’m not sure how this is a crime.”

Fortunately, the Star Pheonix was able to represent the sophisticated situation well enough in two paragraphs:

The charge was in connection with the sale of a home in Portland. Sonnen acted as the realtor in the 2006 sale in which employees of a mortgage brokerage service submitted a materially false loan application to a sub-prime lending institution, instructing that institution to pay the loan proceeds to a plumbing company owned by his mother for repairs to the home.

According to the DA, “in fact, Sonnen knew and had negotiated with (one of the employees) that no repairs would be performed on the home and funds designated to the plumbing company would instead be paid to the buyer as a cash incentive to purchase the home. . . . Once the loan was funded, the title company paid over $69,000 to the plumbing company and the plumbing company, in turn and at Sonnen’s discretion, paid $65,000 to the buyer of the home.”

I’ll tell you the truth: the fact that Chael swindled a subprime lending company wins some points from me. Fuck those guys. Still, it’s the standard Chael Sonnen truth hee-hawing he always does. The guy practically lives in another dimension where everything is just a misunderstanding. If by misunderstanding you mean ‘lie Chael was caught in’, then yes that’s exactly what it was.

Regardless, it sounds like the sentencing was what Dana White and the gang were waiting for before returning Chael to action. In another video with Ariel (what an interview slut he is!), Dana said that Sonnen’s ‘freeze’ was over and they’d be looking to get him back in action ASAP. Now all that’s left is a date with the NSAC to answer for that other ‘misunderstanding’ where Chael got his steroid suspension halved by claiming commission head Keith Kizer OK’d his testosterone injections. We’ll see how his interdimensional ninja skills hold up on that one.

  • Take It Easy

    uncrowned Middleweight champion

  • Reverend Clint

    so basically he raped a rapist

  • iamphoenix

    haha leti replaced that giant dildo with chael sonnen.

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