Check out this dumber than usual anti-MMA hit piece

That MMA in New York thing is still dragging on, and with it comes editorials for and against the sport in various newspapers. Here’s a particularly entertaining anti-MMA piece entitled TOO BRUTAL FOR NY from former Rockland district attorney Michael E. Bongiorno. Let’s break it down dumb statement by dumb statement:

In early March, the state Senate approved the legalization of professional Mixed Martial Arts bouts here, caving to lobbyists for the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Let’s hope the Assembly refuses to go along: MMA is a brutal and barbaric pseudo-sport, the modern equivalent of Roman gladiatorial combat, with an audience screaming and howling at every blow and drop of blood.

Channel-surf on any night and you’re likely to come across an MMA fight, with all its kicking, punching and choking associated. I had the misfortune several years ago of briefly viewing a station carrying a match. In the 30 seconds I watched, I saw a fighter’s forehead split open with a gaping, bloody wound that extended from his scalp to his eyebrow. That was enough to convince me that this “sport” has no place in my life, and should have no place in any civilized society.

I’m glad we’ve established that this gentleman is speaking from a place of knowledge: having watched 30 seconds of mixed martial arts.

At least two professional MMA fighters have died as a result of injuries sustained in the ring/cage.

What a shocking statistic! Shocking in how few have died, really. You’d think a barbaric pseudo-sport like this would be pumping out corpses left and right but alas. Zero would be better, but we’re still doing much better than cheerleading (42) and football (1689).

Today’s steroid-driven athletes are bigger, stronger and more dangerous than ever before. The human body can’t absorb the blows delivered by 6-foot-5, 250-pound hockey player or a 6-foot-7, 340-pound defensive tackle without suffering severe trauma. That’s why so much has been written about concussions and head trauma among former NHL and NFL players.

Jeez, talk about apples and oranges. The force being generated by a fist to a face has nothing on the force being generated by a roided up 340 pound defensive tackle hitting top speed before slamming into some poor bastard quarterback. We agree on the steroid issue and that whole concussion thing – my question is why he isn’t bitching about the NFL and NHL instead of MMA? They’re the freakin psychos here.

How can we teach our children that gratuitous violence has no place in society, when every day they are bombarded with violence — with the most brutal contestants lauded as victors and heroes? Evidently, the Republican Conference in the state Senate has the answer: It supports legalization because New York can make money off this misery.

According to a self-serving study cited by the UFC, a MMA event in New York City would employ 300 people and produce $11.5 million in net economic activity. In the view of the Senate Republicans, we should sell our communal soul to the devil and debase our culture for this 30 pieces of silver.

Aaaah, double religious inference. Technically, Judas sold Jesus out to the Jews for those 30 shekels, not the Devil. Ask Mel Gibson, he’ll tell ya! As for gratuitous violence, Bongiorno has already missed the boat on that one too – violence on TV, in movies, and in video games has been warping the brains of our youth since the 90s. Maybe that’s why so many of my friends tell me MMA is ‘boring’ when I try to make them watch it.

Depictions of violence are commonplace and glorified in America. Yet “experts” and pundits profess it a mystery as to why our children and so many adults resort to violence to solve their everyday grievances, frustrations and problems.

Well, it’s not a mystery to me. From rap music to violent movies to MMA beatings, one message is clear: Brutality is acceptable, especially if it is profitable.

Oh, he hates rap music too. Good to know he’s one of those people. And according to him, no one ever beat anyone up and we all lived in peace and harmony before Hollywood turned us into a society of violent psychos. Oh wait, that’s not true at all. It used to be perfectly acceptable to beat your wives and kids. Violent crime was way more prevailant – somehow this generation weaned on debased culture is the least violent in the history of civilization!

The senators who voted to legalize MMA have voted to degrade our society. Maintaining core cultural values and high moral standards is less important to them than a $5,000 campaign contribution and a few tax dollars.

I pray that the Assembly does the right thing and relegates this legislation to the scrap heap where it belongs. If not, I hope Gov. Cuomo has the moral sense to veto it.

Yep, he prays they vote the way he wants them to and if not, he hopes the Governor ignores their vote. I guess democracy isn’t a ‘core cultural value’ like ‘banning stuff I don’t like’ is.

Meanwhile in Realityland, MMA continues to go on in New York already … somehow without society collapsing under moral decay:

It was dubbed “Kings of New York”, and it wasn’t the first amateur MMA competition in New York City (there were small tournaments at Borough of Manhattan Community College back in 1996), nor was it the first since the state acknowledged last year that those sorts of shindigs were truly legal. The Fighters Source event, however, was the most significant. In a state that has long struggled with its identity when it comes to fighting in a cage – New York banned professional MMA in 1997, inadvertently fostered an underground scene, and only recently begrudgingly allowed amateur bouts – Kings of New York was the first large-scale effort to take place in Midtown Manhattan, under the bright lights of the big city. Unlike the secret Underground Combat League shows of the past decade, or the not-so-secret TNT Fights upstate and the Aggressive Combat Championships taking place in Outer Borough high school gymnasiums, this one was right there in the center of the universe, a block from Penn Station and Madison Square Garden and a scant eight blocks from Times Square.

MMA is coming to New York whether the New York assembly votes it through or not. The UFC may not roll into town without a bill passed, but other promoters aren’t about to wait when there’s a state of 20 million people hungering for the gladitorial blood and soul-corrupting violence mixed martial arts provides.

  • iamphoenix

    The first time I watched the UFC I went outside and decked this old dude. I felt like a true nigga.

  • Doogie Howser, M.D.

    ^ Ha! Damn, Phoenix, stop making me actually laugh out loud when I’m supposed to be pretending to work. You’re not helping.

    Naughty boy.

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