The average UFC fan might not be too familiar with Chris Wilson, who is facing off against welterweight contender Jon Fitch this Saturday at UFC 82. But one thing they’ll know soon enough is that Chris Wilson isn’t afraid to grab on to the shitty end of the stick. “I’m here to get my ass kicked by Jon Fitch, and I’m totally ready for it.” he declared during his pre-fight preparation.
Originally Jon Fitch was supposed to fight Japanese fighter Akihiro Gono, who’s best known for his fluffy hats and elaborate entrance dances. But when Gono hurt has hand practicing his latest routine, the UFC was stuck having to find a replacement. “Thank God for Chris Wilson,” said UFC matchmaker Joe Silva. “We literally went through our entire contact book alphabetically before we found someone willing to take a beating from Fitch.”
“Gono doesn’t care who he fights. He’ll fight a grizzly bear so long as the organization lets him do a stupid dance number on the way to the cage. But most other fighters are a bit smarter about their careers. Losing to Jon Fitch is like being beaten by vanilla ice cream. It’s embarassing to lose to someone so bland.”
Enter Chris Wilson, who doesn’t mind the fact that he’s being set up to take a beating. “Hey, I was willing to suck some cock to get into the UFC. While that would still be preferable to the pounding I’m going to take on Saturday, I’ll take what I can get.”
Some people were still surprised by the fact that Silva would pair a UFC virgin against one of the top contenders in the organization’s strongest weightclasses, especially when there was a more obvious opponent for Fitch in the form of Karo Parisyan. A fight between these two would effectively settle the debate on who is the number one contender at welterweight.
“Oh, we considered Jon versus Karo from the start,” said Joe Silva. “While Karo didn’t exactly ask us not to put him up against Fitch, he did ask for someone less likely to beat him.”
An angry Karo Parisyan responded to our inquiries by saying “Hey, just because I’m avoiding the Fitch fight doesn’t mean I’m ducking him. I’d be happy to kick his ass, any day, any time. Except right now or before I get my title shot.”