So much MMA news gets conveyed in drab, no-frill form nowadays. From cookie-cutter video interviews to articles that could be the exact same piece of prose as the next only with different names, it’s a wonder that anyone pays attention anymore. Thankfully, the Japanese invented a form of poetry called the “haiku” specifically for the concise yet artistic expression of the news. Hooray for the Japanese!
- Dos Santos’ coach/ never thought to throw in the/ towel. What a douche.
- Joey Beltran has/ been cut by the UFC./ Does anyone care?
- Machida drinks piss./ Sometimes he drinks a lot of/ it. Sometimes he don’t.
- Palhares got fired./ On no! Will he find work? Who/ cares. The man’s a jerk.
- Kudos to Wand, who/ rustled up a TUF gig. But/ don’t push it, buddy.
- Miletich misses/ Strikeforce so much, sometimes he/ gazes outside and cries.
- “Screw you, shark,” said the/ surfer dude, who punched the shark/ then smoked a big bowl.