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Dana White is going to die

We all had a good laugh when Dana White said he was going to base jump off the Mandalay Bay hotel and casino if UFC 100 broke 1.5 million pay per views. The show did 1.6 million, and so just out of curiosity (the same curiosity that we should have directed to Roger Huerta when he said he’d wear a chicken suit if Mayweather lost to Pacman, damnit) we asked again and he confirmed it. Now he’s gearing up for the jump:

“I’ve actually been working on it,” White said last week. “I’ve been training for it. I’m going to do it. … I’ve been training with one of the best BASE jumpers in the U.S.”

With fans making the highly promoted and anticipated event one of the biggest in the promotion’s history, White is willing to follow through on his promise. But he blames the decision on a small group of reporters who constantly probe him about the jump.

“You guys keep [expletive] pushing me,” White joked. “You guys are the ones doing this to me.

“That’s what I get for opening my big mouth. I didn’t know we were going to do that many buys. I didn’t know. So, I said I’d do it. Now I’m going to do it.”

Let me be the first here to say how about not doing that, mister hopes and dreams of the UFC empire? Dana White is the Ceasar of the MMA world and while I’m sure someday he’ll outlive his usefulness and get stabbed to death by an entire room full of ‘friends’, right now he’s still doing some good things. I’d rather not see his corpse all tangled up in his chute ropes getting picked out of an outdoor shooter bar setup. Or half of him being found on the 26th floor where the wind blasted him through a window and the other half in a parking lot. The possibilities are endless, really. Sure, one of those possibilities is a fun time, a cool youtube video, and many high fives. All the others involve dying.

So exactly how dangerous is base jumping anyways? Well, according to a study, your chances of dying every time you take a jump are 1 in 2317. But that study was based off of one jump point – the Kjerag – which is considered one of the best and safest places to do the deed.

The Mandalay Bay on the other hand is an urban jump spot (the uber dangerous kind) and while Vegas is no stranger to morons jumping off buildings, the ManBay seems to be virgin territory. And Dana White also happens to be a virgin base jumper. How much more dangerous does that make all this? By my calculations, about a billion fucking times more. I’m not about to tell White what to do here, but I just thought I’d point out that this is a dumb and dangerous idea. As meh as the UFC has been doing lately, there’s really no reason to jump off a building.