“We get into half-points? They better learn to count f—ing whole points before we get to half-points,” he said. “You put a half-a-point in there, holy s—, every f—ing card will be destroyed. It’s a bigger problem than half-points. And I don’t want to smash these guys, they accepted what they did and they were stand-up about it, but Jesus Christ, there’s three f—ing numbers. There’s 10s and 9s. If you can’t count 10s and 9s, let’s not throw f—ing fractions in there.”

White said that during his career of promoting over 1,600 fights, a similar scenario has only occurred one other time, and though he didn’t specify that instance, he’s most likely referring to a UFC 41 bout between Matt Serra and Din Thomas. In that event, Serra was originally declared the winner by majority decision, but a scoring error was later discovered and New Jersey state regulators corrected the mistake, giving Thomas the win.

“It’s the worst thing ever when you go back and you tell a guy, ‘I need to talk to you, you didn’t win this fight,’” White said. “The guy’s already made his f—ing phone calls, he’s already made plans. You think you won the fight and find out the fight’s a draw, or what would have been worse if I would’ve had to go back and tell him, ‘You lost the fight. You didn’t win.’

“That’s why tallying the scores and doing what they do is so important,” he continued. “Not only for all the selfish things for me, for the product and the sport and the brand and all that stuff, but these fighters… You literally have their lives in your hands. Get a f—ing calculator. You know what I mean? Do something. Take more time. Make sure that stuff is right.”

Dana has a point that you have to learn to do missionary before you can do the wheelbarrow or the reverse Mormon, but we really ought to have some faith that not every athletic commission is stuck at Sesame Street levels of math skill. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and speculate that the guy reading the scorecards in Australia was paid off by gamblers from Macau (source: absolutely nothing). In his statement, Dana didn’t really address the actual merits and/or decrepitudes of the half-point scoring system.