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Dana White wants the government to throw you in jail

If you’re a normal human being, chances are from time to time you’ve grabbed your sex meat and manually manipulated it until orgasm. It’s called masturbation, and it’s a sin against God and Baby Jesus. If you’re an average MMA fan, chances are you’ve watched a pirate stream, downloaded a torrent, or seen unauthorized fights on youtube or in gif forum. This too is a sin, but against The Lord Dana White, hallowed be his name.

And just like God, Dana is a wrathful Lord and he shall smite thee for streaming. Via his twitter:

@karateblackbelt the government is literally going to people’s homes and taking them to jail. Wait and c what happens in the next few months

A fan replied:

@danawhite To quote @joerogan “You can’t stop the internet”. On one of your own broadcasts to boot!

To which Dana sez, he sez:

@DearyLeary @joerogan maybe not but we can put Alot of people in jail.

@DearyLeary when people start going down it makes even the dumb ones go oh shit this might not be worth it.

Or maybe it just makes everyone hate your organization’s guts. I seem to remember the music industry trying something similar and it working out great for them. Not only did it stop music piracy, but they’re the most favoritest industry in the world now, up there with Big Oil and Banking.

Look, Dana. You’ve got a good problem: People wanna see your shit. ‘Alot.’ I know you’d rather get paid the 50 bucks for it every time, no exceptions. But I guarantee that pretty much every pirate that’s pillaged your booty has also padded your pocket via PPV buys, UFC tickets, merch, and other crap. Why u tryin to throw these fans in jail?

  • Redping

    I for one welcome our evil insect overlords

  • Letibleu

    Anyone calculate how much it would cost a year to follow the UFC? Say this year or last year? Dont forget paying for premium cable to catch all the fight nights and ultimate fighter stuff.Throw in average tickets to an average show and maybe a t shirt or 2.

  • thingvolds

    i usually watch vids of the fights i care about the next morning. stopped caring enough to buy a ppv every month a long time ago.

  • Spicoli

    They should just ignore it. They’d be better off. I think a lot of the people that stream probably wouldn’t be ordering that fight so it isn’t like potential revenue is lost. 1 fight a month is like $600 a year. Maybe they should do an annual subscription.

  • pewnt

    Dana needs to realize that we know he is building his business off of North Americans pocket books.. Many of the Over sea’s markets get events for free. This is one of the few things that Dana White is completely out of touch with reality (IMO).

  • CAP

    If it’s good enough to buy, I will. If it’s not I’ll find it somewhere. It’s that simple. It does chap my ass knowing most other countries get it for free.

  • agentsmith

    Anyone calculate how much it would cost a year to follow the UFC? Say this year or last year? Dont forget paying for premium cable to catch all the fight nights and ultimate fighter stuff.Throw in average tickets to an average show and maybe a t shirt or 2.

    According to what’s currently scheduled until the end of the year, there will be 17 “numbered” and 10 “fight night” events in 2011, but UFC 138 will be on Spike so that’s 16 PPV’s.  My cable provider (Rogers) charges $60 each for HD, so that’s $960.  Spike is not included with the basic digital channel pack but Rogers Sportsnet is, and luckily they simulcast ALL the Spike and Versus shows including TUF.  So now you can actually get all UFC content on basic digital cable if you’re with Rogers, but it’s only been like that for maybe a year or so.

  • CAP

    A subscription like NFL Ticket would be pretty cool. Or a price break for ordering a block of (3-4) ppvs or something.

  • G Funk

    I can’t believe I’m saying this but, what pewnani said, but with more hostility towards the issue and the people behind it.

  • pewnt

    Holy shit! Are you sick G Funk?? lol

    I held back the hostility to keep it short.

  • G Funk

    I held back the hostility because I want to gargle & then guzzle all of Dana’s organic whole milk str8 from the tap.

    I fixed it for ya pewnani! :-)

    And you don’t need run-on posts to be hostile. Haven’t you learned anything from me?

  • kvelertak

    They can arrest people who restream or create the sites, but their is no way in hell they could arrest people who watch streams.

    It’s a legal impossibility.

    Dana Ain’t no lawyer.

  • rickards

    To Dana: it’s only the dumb ones who will stop downloading if people goto jail. the “smrt” ones generally continue doing it.

    “Why u tryin to throw these fans in jail?”

    as if you didn’t already know: marginalize copyright infringement to maximize profitability. it’ll never really go away, but it can be quelled.

  • scissors61

    ah yes, the bi-annual “dana goes off and threatens jail over pirated streams” kerfluffle. yawn. 

  • glassjawsh

    + 1 for kerfluffle

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