twitter google

Diego Brandao buys his mamma a house, mamma gets drunk to celebrate

When Diego Brandao won season 14 of TUF, we all got to see what a cold-blooded, insane serial killer type he was when he promised to buy his mamma a house and donate money to sick Brazilian children. This is just what we would expect from a guy who could easily be mistaken for a starving hyena when he steps into the cage. Well, now he’s bought his mamma that house and told her to quit her job, and Mrs. Brandao is celebrating by getting totally wasted:

Mom had already started partying when he called her the day after submitting Dennis Bermudez in the reality-show’s finale. “I can tell she’s drunk,” Brandao (14-7 MMA, 1-0 UFC) joked as he hung out on the beaches of Barra da Tijuca in Rio de Janeiro. “She’s completely drunk. My friends told me, ‘Eeesh, it was crazy during the fights in Manaus. Everything stopped.'”

It’s good that Brandao treats his mamma well, because according to the well-thumbed copy of the &t=04m04s” target=”_blank”>book of Mormon that he carries around with him, his mother will be responsible for reaching down and pulling him through heaven’s dilated birth canal directly into the arms of Joseph Smith when he dies. If he doesn’t become a god himself by that time, that is, and if mamma doesn’t get sentenced to Spirit Prison for drinking devil juice.

From the same interview, regarding what’s next for Diego:

“I want to be a killer,” Brandao said. “I want to be a Mike Tyson. I want to kill the guys.”

When Frank Mir says it, it’s cause for a gigantic shit souflee of culinary union protests, but when Diego Brandao says it, we just want to give him a hug. How could we get mad at that face? The same impulse that drives him to become the next Jeffrey Don Lundgren could also mean that he’s brainwashable enough to do exactly what his coaches say, which ought to make him damn near unstoppable.

  • iamphoenix

    i don’t know who this is. i haven’t watched tuf since kimbo.

  • thingvolds

    idk who he is yet either, but i noticed that he gets goofed on a lot for carrying the book of mormon.

    the hateful fightlinker atheists should really try to stop being so hateful and judgmental of other peoples beliefs. here’s a great book that they should carry on them from now on, i believe it would help them see the light.

  • agentsmith

    Drunk on aguardente!

  • Letibleu

    but retards dont go to heaven

  • noiseless

    how dare you

  • Letibleu
    Isaiah 7:16 talks about a person is morally accountable, before the individual knows enough to reject the wrong and choose the right. If the person is in mentally critical condition, and born that way, and retarded to the point where he or she cannot be accounted at his or she moral standard, then the person goes to purgatory to spend eternity in the presence of nothingness.
  • thingvolds

    no person goes to purgatory, purgatory is a catholic invention widely rejected by christians.

    only a spiritually confused person would make a post like that, leti.

  • Letibleu


    cant argue with the picture

  • Letibleu
    The Lord hates the sins of premarital, incestuous, and any sex that is performed in a position other than the missionary. That is how these retards and mongoloids are made, you know. The Lord hates those sins of lust that are performed by perverts, and punishes those people by making them parents of spastic retardeds.


    And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.

    For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
    Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
    Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
    No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
    He shall eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy, and of the holy. Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries.

  • noiseless

    aaah yes, the canadian jackal-meet