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Do not pass “GO,” do not collect $200.


UFC castoff and all-around dickhead Jeremy Jackson, probably best known for his appearance on “TUF 4: Geriatric Throwdown” and his TKO win over Nick Diaz way back in who-fucking-knows-when, was sentenced by a California judge to 25-to-life for sexually assaulting his girlfriend during a home invasion  today. Jackson pled guilty but apparently it didn’t earn him much leniency, as he will now be heading off to that wonderful place where ” target=”_blank”>showering becomes a whole new experience and Jell-O is to be regarded as a rare delicacy worth killing for. In a statement to the Ventura County Star Jackson’s attorney Russell Baker said that Jeremy just couldn’t take it no mo’ and entered his plea in an effort to get the trial over with: 

Jackson’s lawyer, Russell Baker, said he was very disappointed by the way the trial, which lasted more than three weeks, concluded. Baker said he doesn’t believe his client committed these crimes. He said the “crushing weight” of the trial and the accusations were a heavy mental burden on Jackson.

“He just got broken down,” said Baker.

Prosecutor Thomas Dunlevy had a different take on the situation:

Dunlevy said Jackson, 28, of Ventura, pleaded guilty because he is guilty, and he was potentially looking at a maximum sentence of 60 years to life.

Dunlevy said there was substantial evidence against Jackson, including a secretly recorded telephone call between him and the victim after the rape took place. During this call, Jackson told the Oxnard woman he had planned the crime, according to Dunlevy.

A statement entered  into the court’s record by a juror stating that she felt Jackson was innocent didn’t do anything to help, and Jackson was unceremoniously remanded to the loving arms of the California state penal system. I guess Jeremy will be finding out very soon that losing to Pete Spratt actually isn’t the most humiliating thing in the universe. See ya later, shithead.