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Do you believe in magic?

I suppose it was only a matter of time before more companies realized there’s a bit of a sheep-like consumer mentality they can tap into with MMA. Now we’ve got magical bracelet manufacturers sponsoring fighters like Court McGee. Via a press release:

Driven by a passionate work ethic, and a strong desire to constantly advance, McGee is utilizing EFX Performance products, to improve his balance, reflexes and stamina.

“My fight this past weekend was a true test of my ability, but most of all my resolve. After a flash knockdown in the first round, my equilibrium was tested, but I was able to recover my balance noticeably quicker thanks to EFX’s holographic technology,” said McGee. “EFX is the only thing I use to help increase my balance and stamina, the proof that it works for me was evident that night.”

EFX Performance is a leader in holographic performance technology around the world, and their bracelets and necklaces are beginning to be noticed more ubiquitously in the MMA arena.

So how the hell does a cheap silicone bracelet with a hologram sticker help you in the cage exactly?

We are all surrounded by a naturally occurring energy field that constantly reacts to both internal and external influences. When this field is disrupted, the body’s performance and responsiveness is compromised, similar to a precision instrument being out of tune. Conversely, when these frequencies are nurtured, muscles relax, blood flow increases and tension abates.

EFX’s holographic technology contains algorithms and frequencies that interact positively with this energy field in both humans and animals at the cellular level. When placed near the body, especially at key energy centers such as the hands and feet, EFX’s products will harmonize with the body’s naturally occurring bioelectric frequencies.

Or it will do nothing but help EFX harmonize itself with the 30 bucks you spent them buying this pseudoscience piece of shit.

  • Fitdaws

    Ok, maybe it was ‘evident’ it helped Court that night….conversley what happens when/if he gets ktfo?

  • Symbul

    I’ve been battling low energy and irregular joint pain for the past five months. Ever since I got the [insert piece of plastic crap] I’ve been pain-free and I’ve never felt better!

    Am I doing it right? Where’s my sponsorship money?

  • agentsmith

    I’m sticking with my Q-Ray bracelet, thanks.

  • greenseed

    but do they make cock rings?

  • Reverend Clint

    either court is as dumb as he looks or is an evil economics genius.

  • G Funk

    “but do they make cock rings?” funny

  • chim55

    wow, you think Court is high?

  • Jim

    Whatever, at least his dumb shit is working for him. Anyone with religious beliefs or other spiritual bullshit (probably 99% of the planet) is hardly makes any more sense.

  • subo

    The alternatives is to let morons keep their money, which seems immoral to me.

  • mamoru

    Didn’t Randy Couture shill magnetic armbands a while back too?
    Lots of dumb motherfuckers in sports.

  • scissors61

    i fully expect a new line of fighter-endorsed homeopathic “medicine” to appear in the near future. scams abound.

  • subo

    Get dat paypah. Athletes aren’t the same as rock stars – give the people that retard-hump your careers the outlet they need for their never-realized dreams made manifest as hero worship. It’d be dumb NOT to.

  • Letibleu

    Individual results vary when wearing the QRay – results not typical.
    QRay bracelets
    are worn by many people including the author of this site. We personally know many people who wear the QRay bracelet every day. In fact, my father has such large wrists (over 9 inches around) that his QRay is very tight, but he refuses to take it off.

    QRay testimonials – If you would like your QRay testimonial listed online line simply email it to us and we will try to list your QRay statement.

    Top athletes that want to increase their athletic performance naturally are fools if they don’t use the Q-Ray bracelet. And all the ones I have given it to use, love it and swear by it. I’m able to train a lot harder. I recover quicker. I see the Q-Ray bracelet as just a phenomenal asset to my training. — William Kazmaier, The World’s Strongest Man

    QRay is the talk among my colleagues, They love its comfortable fit and its beautiful design. My game is significantly improved since wearing QRay. — Colleen Walker LPGA Tour Professional

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    The QRay Ionized Bracelet® is a non-medical device.

    It will protect you from catching AIDS when having unprotected sex with dirty downtown crack whores.

  • P W

    Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
    Lisa: That’s spacious reasoning, Dad.
    Homer: Thank you, dear.
    Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
    Homer: Oh, how does it work?
    Lisa: It doesn’t work.
    Homer: Uh-huh.
    Lisa: It’s just a stupid rock.
    Homer: Uh-huh.
    Lisa: But I don’t see any tigers around, do you?
    Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

  • glassjawsh

    still irritated by those who lack faith. to believe that there is nothing out there greater than yourself is the highest form of arrogance

  • G Funk

    ^ Yeah like a fucking silicon bracelet with a hollagram… Get over it bible thumper

  • G Funk

    highest form of arrogance? It’s my religion is better than yours, and I’m going to heaven cause I believe in THE real religion and if you had the chance to convert but didn’t you will go to hell. That’s not arrogance?

    How bout, not believing in a higher power than all living beings? Is that arrogant? Or is it believing that you/yourself is the the end-all be all?

  • glassjawsh

    no clue what exactly you said in that spanglish infused diatribe, but what i was saying is that it’s arrogant to think that you (a human being) are the highest form of existence, considering how fucked up we are

  • scissors61

    how i long for the days when spambots just posted “i got free nikes at this web site from china! all it needs is your credit card number!” Don’t come up in this bitch with your fuckin’ “Rime of the Ancient Mariner”-sized spam, dawg

  • G Funk

    Is that what atheists believe? That Human beings are the highest form of existence? Above all other living things?

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  • Reverend Clint

    humanists believe that G Funk.

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  • G Funk

    OK so what is Jawsh talking about and to whom is he directing his statement?

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