twitter google

Dragon Eyes Review

The title means something, what it is I’m not exactly sure

So I sat down last night/this morning around 1am to watch the new JCVD/Cung Le movie “Dragon Eyes”. To say it’s bad would be an understatement. I took notes while watching it.

Spoiler Alert!

  • JCVD looks like he has on Malcom X glasses, see poster above.
  • Gilbert Melendez speaks Spanish but sounds like a teenager.
  • Gil looks so stupid with his giant wannabe cholo jacket.
  • Cung le was dubbed over with a white mans voice.
  • Cung looks old as fuck, at least 400 years old.
  • During a gang fight scene he beats Gils ass with another mans legs.
  • Then Gil gets punched by other guy.
  • Randomly transitions from past and present, or i think its the past.
  • JCVD is his spiritual mentor in prison and the have a huge cell.
  • Mister V aka Robo Cop aka Peter Weller looks like a 20’s gangster.
  • Cung Le uses rake to fight gang members
  • Pretty good fight scenes for a $500 movie
  • Best part of movie is two crackheads who fight a “ninja” after getting high.
  • Robo Cop plays Russian roulette with a guys dick, suck on that Arlovski
  • Hendo plays a dirty cop who beats the shit out of cung le, but it takes like 2-3 minutes of solid one sided beating to finally knock him out.
  • A fat Trevor Prangley plays a Russian Gangster called Lord Devil Dog.
  • Rich Clementi apparently plays one of his henchmen but I never spotted him.

Hope I didn’t ruin it with spoilers, not that you are going to watch this living aborted fetus. Anyways I was too high to figure out the plot other than Cung Le is the “good” guy.

I give this 3 out of 10 thumbs up just for some decent acting by Peter Weller.

Random Pics after the Jump!

Gilbert Melendez getting pushed through a SUV window. Staight 209 bitchez!!!

JCVD playing games with Cungs heart in Prison.

“I suck therefore I am”



  • G Funk

    You don’t even have three thumbs.

  • Reverend Clint

    im all thumbs

  • Letibleu

    some thumbs are more thumbs than others

  • Zakaria

    ,i,m the biggest Wanderlei fan auornd, buy i can,t understand why he doesn,t change up his stand up fighting, everybody has got his number, from the final pride days until now he,s getting caught because he always throws the same hooks! Nobody is falling for it anymore and they all have an aswer ,why the fucking fuck in fucks name doesn,t he see that ??? why is there no trainer who tells him this???

  • deyswaewrse

    F9bnio hqxyykgfnehi

  • rrpbpbcckim

    XnICNH jsadnmuwnmsk