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DREAM.16 is a disgrace on paper

Hey, Strikeforce fans. How are… things? I know you guys were all psyched to see Nick Diaz and Mayhem Miller engage in a shit talking war to rival Bret Hart v Shawn Michaels, but that’s apparently not going to happen because Diaz is suddenly incapable of fighting above the 170 weight that he’s hit twice in the last two years. But hey – at least you guys have that “alliance” (read: incredibly selective match making agreement) with DREAM, so maybe they can find him an opponent! And think about it – what are the odds that they would give Mayhem an opponent that was like your childhood dog and favorite superhero growing up all in one? And that the match up itself would be a mockery… that seems like it would be really rare!

If you’ve eaten anything recently, point away from the screen.

With his grudge match on hold, Jason “Mayhem” Miller (23-7 MMA, 1-1 DREAM) will tide himself over by fighting an MMA legend.

The colorful Strikeforce fighter will returns overseas to face Kazushi Sakuraba (26-13-1 MMA, 3-3 DREAM) at DREAM.16, which takes place Sept. 25 at Nippon Gaishi Hall in Nagoya, Japan.

I’m sure that the MMA geek in Mayhem is flat out geeked for this fight, but it truly is a “tiding over” move – if he loses, then holy fucking shit, and if he wins, then who fucking cares. Pro wrestling is the strongest style, but this is a squash match, akin to Andre the Giant letting Hulk Hogan be the first man to slam him in order to put him over.

HDNet Fights today announced the fight, as well as a previously reported fight between Tatsuya Mizuno (8-5 MMA, 1-0 DREAM) and Gegard Mousasi (29-3-1 MMA, 7-0 DREAM) for the first-ever DREAM light-heavyweight title.

“Gegard? Scott. Listen, I know you looked like shit against Mo, who in turn looked like shit against Feijao. So you fighting Feijao now would be a bad idea! And we have no light heavyweights to speak of! I suck at my job! ANYway, DREAM’s setting you up against an 8-5 guy so that you have a belt when we put you against Feijao anyway. Blorp!”

Also announced was a long-rumored bout between Bellator season-two featherweight-tournament winner Joe Warren (5-1 MMA, 2-1 DREAM) and UFC/PRIDE vet Michihiro Omigawa (11-8-1 MMA, 2-0 DREAM). Warren, of course, is also slated to fight Bellator champ Joe Soto at Bellator 27 on Sept. 2, three weeks before his DREAM.16 bout.

Ok, that’s a dank fight (don’t be fooled by the record – Omigawa is legit). Everything above it is bullshit.