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EliteXC locks in it’s first CBS card

So here’s the official lineup for the May 31st CBS/EliteXC card:

  • Kimbo Slice vs. James Thompson
  • Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith
  • Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young
  • Phil Baroni vs. Joey Villasenor
  • Brett Rogers vs. Jon Murphy

Note that Murilo “Ninja” Rua is out of his fight with Phil Baroni and has been replaced by Joey Villasenor. Also note that whoever put the voodoo curse on the Rua brothers is just taking things too far, now. No word on why Rua is off the card, but I like to speculate wildly and irresponsibly that it’s amid concerns he might fail a drug test. There is also the high possibility that the sky is falling. Elevated Terror level alert!!! But seriously. Those shifty South Americans … always hopped up on something or other. Am I right or am I right?

Also worth noting (this is a post full of things worth noting, by the way) is the Brett Rogers vs Jon Murphy fight. You might remember Brett as the beheomoth that knocked one of the headliners out at the last EliteXC show. And now he’s at the bottom of the card, which is actually lucky for him. If Mark Dion wasn’t such a retard, I bet KJ Noons vs Yves Edwards would have pushed their bout off the televised portion of the show. Let’s hope Yves Edwards is as pissed as you’d imagine he would be about that and takes it out on Noons during their fight.

  • x5BoltMainx

    “Those shifty South Americans … always hopped up on something or other. Am I right or am I right?”

    You’re WRONG brotha!!
    Anderson Silva is squeeky clean :P

    The only fight I care about is Carano vs Young. I have a strong feeling that Carano is going to get knocked the fook out because she’s too cocky… can’t train & film AG at the same time. Maybe she needs this lose to light a fire up her arse.

  • garth

    brett rodgers vs. jon murphy should be a good fight. rodgers can bang, and murphy’s an up and comer…well, they both are, really.
    why, why, why does phil baroni keep getting play? the guy’s a miserable athlete.

  • sebastian

    I was laughing the first time I saw this:

    I felt bad doing so though because Jon Murphy overcame alchoholism or something and seemed like a nice guy.

    …clearly I could never run a site like this one.

  • clint notestine

    That armbar looked like something I would pull off with 0 BBJ training.

  • Nate

    This card is dubbed as the most important in MMA history, but its pretty lame. The Carano fights good, but no ninja and another can for Kimbo? Why isn’t he fighting Rodgers, that would be a great match.

  • Atom

    Birthday blow job training, huh?
    Hey, you typed it.

  • anon

    I heard something about Ninja’s brain.