Evan Tanner fell off the wagon

After a month of silence, Evan Tanner has posted on his blog revealing a lot of personal issues and a laundry list of shitty news. Before I really get into all that, I wanna talk about the name of this blog post. You might think it’s insensitive of me to lead in saying Evan’s off the wagon, and you might be expecting me to make fun of Evan Tanner for being a drunk. Well, that ain’t gonna happen, because there’s nothing funny about his current situation. Which sucks, because his past situations have always been great for a laugh.

The reason I’m calling this post ‘Evan Tanner fell off the wagon’ is because that’s the important part of this story. Other heartless bastards across the internet are concentrating on “Evan Tanner not training” or “Evan Tanner not fighting in the UFC any time soon”. Yes, these are both accurate statements, but they’re not what we should be concentrating on. Evan Tanner isn’t just a UFC fighter, and we shouldn’t just care about when he’s going to return to the ring.

Anyways, in case Evan’s post was depressing you and you wanted the Coles Notes version of his story, here it is: He’s drinking again, he’s out of money, he’s out of shape, he’s not training, his boat is busted and beached, his friends are sick of him, and he may have pneumonia. There’s definitely a good blues or country song in all that, but I’m not so sure if there’s a great comeback story. Well, if Evan pulled it off it would be an amazing comeback story. But I just don’t know if I see it happening. Which sucks balls.

If there is a comeback story, it’s not likely to be with the UFC. In my opinion, Tanner’s salvation lies in an unusual source: Gary Shaw. Bear with me here people … Shaw has proven time and time again that he’s willing to do some pretty unusual shit to put fights together. You all remember the strings pulled to get Krazy Horse Bennett out of jail for his match. Compared to that, is helping Evan Tanner clean up that much of a stretch?

Tanner’s problem is he doesn’t have the resources to pull himself out of the situation he’s gotten into. Gary Shaw’s problem is he doesn’t have a lot of depth in his middleweight division. These guys can provide solutions to eachother’s problems. And what’s it to Gary Shaw? Fuck, Shaw gets a 10,000$ a month allowance from EliteXC to cover his living expenses. So what if the company foots the bill for Evan’s rehabilitation, training, and basic living expenses for a few months? At worst the company is out a few thousand bucks. At best they’ve locked themselves in an enormous talent with great name value. Not to mention helped a good man pull himself back from the edge of ruin.

Anyways, the above scenario works past Gary Shaw and could be replaced by any number of other benefactors, fight organizations or training camps. Obviously I don’t know the inside scoop on Evan’s situation … it could be that this has all been tried in the past by others. But it’s a nice pipe dream, and I have to hope that there can be some light at the end of the tunnel for Evan Tanner. If there was ever a time I wished the shit I wrote on this blog actually counted for something, now would be the time.

  • Higgz

    Wow. Fightlinker DOES have a heart after all.

    IFL would be a good situation for him as well. He would get a consistant salary and some mid-level competition until he got all of his tools sharpened up again.

  • http://flyingguardpass.blogspot.com/ garth

    reading his blog post yesterday, i was definitely sad. all this stuff he’s doing right now is right on my doorstep too. you feel like you know guys when you read their blogs and watch them on TV and pull for them, but you really don’t.
    i’ve got a lot of friends who are basically inveterate drunks (i consider myself a friend) and there’s pretty much nothing you can do unless they want to change. Evan seems to want to change…he seemed like he was sober for a while before recently. i hope he gets his shit together, even if he never fights again. i hope he finds some peace.

  • anderson

    damn fightlinker, that was extremely compassionate of you.

  • kentyman

    If nothing else, Shaw could take a week of $kala’s allowance and help Even clean up his boat wreckage.

  • http://flyingguardpass.blogspot.com/ garth

    with a week of that douche’s allowance he could clean up a superfund site, i’d imagine.

  • Xavier

    Evan Tanner could easily get healthy if he wanted to. As he noted, he was clean, sober and ready to go with life before he went out with friends and decided to have a beer. He knew he was an alcoholic, he knew what having a beer might do to him. Yet he did it anyways.

    This is not a tragic story, it’s a cautionary tale of what not to do if you’re predisposed to being a drunk. There’s plenty of MMA fighters you’ve never heard of who get injured in the shitty indy-level promotions out there that deserve real sympathy but will never get it because you never saw Rich Franklin beat their drunk ass.

    Save the sad-sack drama song for a person who deserves it, a real victim of the bad side of the business, rather than someone who is merely a victim of the choices they’ve made themselves.

  • MJC_123

    I even commented on another site that this place would be the place for ripping into the tanner story and that here people would not be so respectful. Guess even the boss of fightlinker is touched by Evan’s story….

  • http://MMACritique.blogspot.com Thomas

    sad stuff. forget mma i hope gets his shit together

  • http://www.sprawl-n-brawl.com Adam

    Elite XC actually has one of the best middleweight divisions around:
    Phil Baroni
    Frank Shamrock
    Cung Le
    Riki Fukuda
    Joe Villasenor
    Robbie Lawler
    Murilo Rua
    David Louiseau

  • Lucinda Bassett

    It may be too late for Tanner’s MMA career, but I hope he gets it together and enjoys the rest of his life.

  • http://flyingguardpass.blogspot.com garth

    xavier: i hope some day you’re expressing hope for another human being, maybe some sympathy, and you get shit all over by some loudmouthed, self-righteous prick. that would be really, really cool.
    god knows that no one can feel bad for one person and not for another.

  • Torgo

    You’re waaaaaaay off about EXC’s MW division.
    It is in fact their best division. They need to work on all their others, and to that end perhaps it is time for Tanner to re-debut at 205. If he keeps hittin the beer it might be his only option.

  • Swedish guy

    fightlinker: hear hear!

  • MJC_123

    If Gary Shaw and Elite XC want to go legit in the eyes of synical fucks like us over night then what you proposed fightlinker would be the best way to do it.

    Instant credibility and the revival of a decent bloke/fighter to boot!

  • marshal

    That’s a hell of a can opener that alcoholic is holding

  • http://MMACritique.blogspot.com Thomas

    For a serious post thats a funny ass picture

  • marshal

    I really want to know the story behind this photo.
    Bud light, power lines, pick axe, picture perfect background?

  • RabbleRouser01

    XAVIER… I hope you find yourself in a situation needing compassion. Evan’s not looking for sympathy from anybody…. Just making a statement about what he’s done and what he plans to do about it. I know… I helped him edit it. His true friends/fans will rally around him. The opinion of pretentious pricks, though good fuel for the fire, will be taken lightly. He’s a strong guy who knows what he needs to do. Do you know what this guy has done? You obviously know even less about what he’s capable of doing. Hope you have a taste for crow.

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