Everything I know about steroids I learned from MMA

For me, the most educational part of the whole recent steroid scandal has been how people in the mixed martial arts community perceive banned substances. You have guys like Zach Arnold who watched pro wrestlers blow organs and blood all over the place like some kind of fucked up Seaworld show. Suffice to say Zach is slightly anti-steroids.

Then you have another large group of MMA personalities who aren’t exactly anti-steroids in society, but they are anti-cheating and don’t think steroids are fair in professional competition. Last but not least you have the steroid apologists who basically say several things:

  • Steroids don’t actually help you fight better, they’re just a recovery tool
  • Steroids don’t kill everyone who uses them, so who cares?
  • It’s either steroids or Xenergy Cran-Razz, and any sane person would rather jab needles into their balls than drink that shit.

Long story short, there’s a fuckload of people who are perfectly fine with the idea of fighters juicing up to superhuman levels and duking it out like mutants from an X-Man comic. And while on one level I’m perfectly fine with that (that’s pretty much what half the PRIDE heavyweight division was all about), I suppose on another I do oppose this kind of stuff.

Why? Because the end result of steroids is shit like Phil Baroni’s groin exploding and Sean Sherk as the lightweight champion. The end result is a real reason for mainstream fucktard ‘journalists’ to piss on our sport. The end result is monster juice monkeys with pea sized testicles holding skilled fighters down and riding out decisions. And that’s not the kind of mixed martial arts that I wanna watch.

The day they bring out full-force cyborg fighting with HGH and steroids being injected into veins between rounds, I’ll be the first in line to buy tickets for it. But all the skulking and cheating and who is / who isn’t bullshit is just so lame.

  • Jonathan

    Is it wrong that I am spending my entire working day reading Fightlinker, FightOpinion, and MMAPredictions instead of actually typing out these damn syllabi!

  • Miguel Sanchez

    Hey Jonathan, if your so fucking great why dont you just suck your own dick and write your own gay articles.. fuck you and your dog…

    keep up the good work fightlinker.. faggit

  • http://www.ivansblog.com Ivan Trembow

    “The end result is monster juice monkeys with pea sized testicles holding skilled fighters down and riding out decisions. And that’s not the kind of mixed martial arts that I wanna watch.”

    The end result if you’re abusing steroids and/or painkillers for long enough can also be death with arterosclerotic heart failure as a major contributing factor, and there are dozens of dead pro wrestlers who are unfortunately evidence of that.

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