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Fedor teases fanboys everywhere again

As great as Fedor’s in ring accomplishments are, perhaps he has done an even greater job of stirring interest for shit that winds up never happening. There were potential PRIDE mega fights with Josh Barnett and Cro Cop (after the Croatian won the 2006 OWGP) that never happened. Then there was the year-long hype for a bout with then-heavyweight champion Randy Couture that resulted in strange photo shoots, arranged lunch meetings, and Couture’s highly publicized release and return to the UFC. Since Brock Lesnar’s entry into the MMA world, fans have salivated over a potential Fedor vs. Brock match-up. Fedor knows it, too.

Me and my management hope to get a chance to talk to Dana White in person in June to discuss a possible fight between me and Brock.

Look, let’s cut the shit. We know how this works. The Russians show up and meet with Dana. Dana smacks a contract down in front of them and this conversation happens:

Dana White: We will fucking make you a superstar and pay you obscene amounts of money. Just sign the fucking piece of paper and get in the Octagon.

Crazy Russians: Well, that sounds good and all but we’re going to need you to let Fedor still compete in sambo. Also, you’re going to have to co-promote his fights with our company, M1 Global, and give us a hefty share of the profits despite the fact that people will be buying the show based on the brand and sport that you have built.

Dana White: Are you fucking delusional or just plain stupid? Fedor is not a draw here. The UFC is a draw. Fedor comes here, we make him a star, you guys get paid. Shut the fuck up and sign the dotted line, pricks.

Crazy Russians: This does not seem fair.

We do not need another repeat of this. First off, Fedor has a fight to fulfill with Affliction before this can happen. That means he’s going to have to beat the shit out of his buddy Josh Barnett on a pay-per-view that very few people will buy. Then, Brock is going to have to smash Frank Mir half to death.

Let’s say both those scenarios play out. At that point, the UFC is still not going to budge, nor should they. The UFC is synonymous with MMA and to the casual fan — meaning the guys pumping money into this industry — Fedor is simply a mean looking Russian dude who never made it to the big leagues of the UFC. The UFC will be perfectly fine without Fedor and Fedor will still be financially well-off without the UFC. If Fedor wants to compete in the Octagon and become the star in North America he should have been years ago, while simultaneously growing his legacy at an exponential rate, then he’s going to have to be the one making the concessions. It’s that fucking simple.