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Fedor’s coach jumps the shark in epic fashion


I’ve been watching MMA for a pretty good stretch of years now and have heard more than my fair share of hilarious excuses for a loss, but this one easily takes the cake:

Fedor Emelianenko’s coach Vladimir Voronov has presented an interesting theory for his fighter’s loss to Antonio ‘Bigfoot’ Silva on Saturday night.


“We believe that forbidden psychological technology was used… It seems to us that not everything was right, and that certain technologies were used. Not ones that could be seen by the naked eye but psychological technologies that worked on both fighters at a distance,” he said to Russian website

I guess a trainer will do and say some crazy shit when the fighter they’ve hitched their wagon to suddenly doesn’t seem like the hottest meal ticket in town anymore. That or Voronov is just, like, really into New Age:

Voronov also observed with suspicion the fact that Fedor seemed to look “a little depressed” while Silva “literally glowed from the overflowing of his energy”. Voronov suspects the use of a person or persons in the audience capable of “blocking energy” and “transferring energy from one person to another”. 

Look out, Jerry Millen and Vadim Finkelstein. There’s a new contender for “Biggest Idiot in Fedor’s Camp” on the block, and he’s bringing the heat. Maybe Fedor’s next camp will consist of Vornov ” target=”_blank”> Fuckin’ voodoo magic!

  • agentsmith

    Bigfoot’s manager, Alex Davis responds on The Underground:

    Jeez!! I got cought! I will have to come out with the truth now! I hired a Macumbeiro ( Brazilian wicth dr) and we killed a black chicken on the cross roads. After this,over a few beers, I showed the witch Dr Fedors fights, and he was worried that a chicken wouldnt be anough, so we went out and killed a black goat , just to make sure! Very potent stuff! Realy messed Fedors brain waves up

    We wanted to try that other military stuff Voronov is talking about,but its expensive technology and we were broke! The chicken and the goat came out way cheaper. Witch Dr is a friend, did it for a few beers and an autograph!

  • Omomatta

    ……don’t tell Vornov….but it was ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  • CAP

    There is a picture going around of some voodoo looking guy in the front row at cage side. Just a damn funny coincidence.

  • scissors61

    CAP–can you find it? I’ll add it to the post. 

  • Take It Easy

    You thought that was crazy? Wait until you hear this one:
    - Does it concern you that Silva was 10 kg heavier in the day of the fight, how can you explain such a tremendous weight-gain?
    – Of course it amazed us. Think about it, how can the normal human-being gain 10 kg in 24 hours? There is something fishy here. The truth is, all our fighters, I am talking about Russian fighters here, that are fighting under M-1, train on their natural abilities. Of course, they take vitamins, but that’s it. At the same time, all the foreign fighters, I think about 99% of them, are taking chemicals. Obviously it was not a problem for Silva to make a weight. He weighted 264 pounds in the day of the weigh-ins, and the next day, he was already over 280, he gained 10 kg…Its very hard to fight with opponent like this.

  • agentsmith

    OMG, it’s as if he’s found a magical way to temporarily “cut weight” out of his body.  Witchcraft, I say!

  • agentsmith

    CAP, you mean this one with Papa Shango?

  • GoldenArms

    lol Papa Shango. where is the black ooze? Fedor would have won if he had Kamala on his side, but he heard the Taker was going to be ringside and ran away from the potential casket match.

    in all seriousness, if you’ve ever had a dude who weighs 50 more pounds than you, sitting on your chest, you know you’re in trouble. especially a black belt.

    fedor is a light heavyweight. tito ortiz is bigger than him. so is forrest, rampage and a gang load of other ufc light-heavyweights. fedor finally fought a huge dude who had the skills to hang. lucky for BigFace Silva, he ran like a pussy from Fedor’s haymakers and took him down.

  • subo

    That’s telekinesis, Kyle.

  • CAP

    Yeah that’s the one. WTF. Can’t those pro wrestlers just keep to themselves. I see a bad trend forming with pro wrasslers getting airtime at MMA events. How long before Undertaker is in full garb with Paul Bearer running around pissing down his leg.

  • CAP

    It’s just funny with all the nonsense story going around that this guy was sitting cage side.

    And Goddamn I shed a tear everytime I have to look at that Fedor photo…LEAVE HIM ALOOONE!!

  • subo

    ran like a pussy from Fedor’s haymakers

    1.  You’re a fucking idiot.

    2.  Bigfoot outboxed Fedor in the first round.

  • GoldenArms

    Oh god, subo called me an idiot. I’d respond but there’s no point in arguing with mental midgets. The guy who didnt land a punch outboxed someone. Good lord. you have no wit, originality, knowledge of mma, experience, intelligence, style and your writing just plain sucks. Your “im the jonathan snowden of fightlinker” schtick is old and played out. Go get a job you fag

  • agentsmith

    Wait, you mean that picture wasn’t photoshopped?


    Also, I award +1 internets to Subo for the Tenacious D joke that I meant to make myself.

  • Take It Easy

    you cant respond because you didnt actually watch the fight

    you were too heartbroken by your faggot idol getting destroyed in a minute so you decided to wait until the play-by-plays were out because you couldn’t bear the thought of seeing your fat russian mancrush lose; only to have your fragile heart shattered yet again

  • Take It Easy

    its always lulzworthy that the same people who despise dana white and the ufc’s business practises invariably defend m1 the most corrupt promoter next to pride in the history of the business to the death

    when i said its good for fight fans that fedor lost again i meant it

    fedor crashing and burning after all the ducking, contract fuckery and constant bullshit from his management sets a good precedent

  • agentsmith

    The guy who didnt land a punch outboxed someone.

    Why doncha have a look-see at THIS, dipshit.


  • Komodo

    Isn’t Rasputin part of Fedor’s camp? I smell horseshit.

  • Reverend Clint

    Guess fedors camp misinterpreted the title of “the men who stare at goats”…happens when you watch an illegal dvd

  • Jim Harbaugh Scramble

    “ran like a pussy from Fedor’s haymakers”

    ]Come on. He beat the shit of Fedor. If he laid on him for three rounds and won a UD, maybe you’d have a point.