As it goes in the world of mixed martial arts, dull news periods are usually followed with a flood of announcements. As of late, there have been a ton of rumored or signed fight bookings — and here they are.
– Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin are set to do battle at UFC 106 in November. I’m guessing this one doesn’t end via peruvian necktie.
– Cain Velasquez will welcome IFL veteran Ben Rothwell to the Octagon at UFC 104 in October. Losing Carwin as an opponent has got to be a bit of a let-down for the undefeated prospect, but Rothwell is a fringe top 10 fighter who will bring the fight. The winner of this one should be one fight away from a title shot.
– Thiago Alves vs. Paulo Thiago is probably happening at UFC 107. I can’t even read that without getting confused. Anyway, Paulo went from beating up guys named Marcone Marcone (really?) to fighting Josh Koscheck, Jon Fitch, and Thiago Alves in a row. That’s like going from being the governor of the state famous for Ice Road Truckers to running for Vice President of the United States. Yeah, I just compared Paulo Thiago to Sarah Palin. That just happened.
– Gilbert Yvel has not signed with the UFC, despite recent reports to the contrary. Dammit. I was really hoping to see somebody punch that farm animal-raping smile off of Josh Rosenthal’s face.
– As of right now, Ricardo Arona has not signed with Strikeforce. I’m sure the organization will be able to come up with a suitable opponent for Gayguard, anyway. What about that Sokoudjou guy? He’s still somewhat relevant. Oh, they’re already fighting in Dream? Well what about Vladdy? Signed with the UFC, you say? Hector Lombard? Really? I didn’t know he was too small to make 205 in any credible type of way. Well, they could just put him in some type of exhbition grappling match with Fedor to keep him busy. M1’s doing that already? Fuck. Somebody call Bobby Southworth. That dude is a ratings orgasm and pound-for-pound beast.
– Some guy named Zak Cummings will be stepping in for the injured Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos to face all-around badass Tim Kennedy at the next Strikeforce Challenger Series in September. Well, I guess it could have been worse. His name could have been Zak Sploogings.
– “The Immortal” Matt Brown will get a crack at a TUF winner when he meets this past season’s James Wilks at UFC 105 in Manchester. Matt Brown is a fucking bad motherfucker. That is all.