Last night’s bonus winners were quite easy to determine. GSP and Carlos Condit won Fight of the Night for their spirited and very bloody dogfight. Johny Hendricks won Knockout of the Night for blasting Martin Kampmann into next week. And Ivan Menjivar took Submission of the Night with his sweet belly down armbar on Azamat Gashimov. Each man takes home an additional 70 large, which is pretty sweet. I hit $12 on a scratch-off last week so I can relate to having a few extra bucks to play with. That day I enjoyed chips AND a pickle with my sandwich. Sometimes you just gotta splurge. Anyway, without further ado, here are the awards you won’t see on the the UFC 154 Wikipedia page.
The Not Quite Matt Serra Upset: Carlos Condit. In the third round, Condit finished off an unorthodox combination with a head kick that landed pretty solid on GSP’s temple. If floored the champ, and Condit jumped all over him, but he wasn’t able to get the stoppage. Condit was off balance when he launched the kick. Had he been a little more stationary he would have knocked GSP’s tiny head into the 7th row. But alas, it was not to be. Condit had his chance, and against GSP most are lucky to get just one. Gots to make the most of it. So there was no grand moment for poor Condit, no hero’s welcome, no accolades. Sure, he gave GSP the best fight he’s had in a very long time, but a loss is a loss is a loss.
Best WTF Just Happened Look: Martin Kampmann. Kampmann saw Johny Hendricks leap across the cage looking to deliver some hurt. He probably caught a quick glimpse of the left that was to connect with his jaw. What he didn’t see was that it knocked his ass across the cage and out cold. Certain to make the highlight reels for the next few decades, it was picture perfect, and even though it’s doubtful Kampmann will look at it with the same jubilation as the rest of us, he must secretly admire it for its aesthetic appeal. Afterward, Kampmann had a despondent look on his face, that same WTF look that Gaza Strip bombing victims have.
Most Likely to be Limping: Rodrigo Damm. Not only did Damm lose a close split decision, but his leg got pretty jacked up to boot. Opponent Antonio Carvahlo started off the fight kicking to the outside of Damm’s left knee and pretty much didn’t stop until it looked like a Sloppy Joe.
Most Improved Hair-do: Sam Stout. For the longest time Stout used to roll into the cage rocking the buzz cut, white boy fade popularized in the 90’s. Last night, though, he came out with a stylish, floppy ‘do, parted at the side, kinda preppy teenagerish, yet sophisticated at the same time. He lost his fight, but he can take some solace that he looked so damn suave doing it.
Most Likely to Have Three Fights in Three Different Divisions: Chad Griggs. In his UFC debut, then undersized heavyweight Griggs got decimated by the much larger Travis Browne. Obvious solution: drop to light-heavyweight. Griggs did, making his 205 pound debut last night. He then got destructed by the much larger Cyrille Diabate. Griggs is 6-1, and was sporting a little flab in the midsection. He could perhaps make 185 if he cut out the wings and shaved off his fabulous muttonchops. Dropping weight classes is often the last act of a desperate man, and the manner in which Griggs lost his first two UFC fights puts him squarely into that category.
Most in Need of a Spray-On Tan: Mark Bocek. It’s okay to be umpteen degrees of white and pink in the privacy of your own home, but when your job requires you to disrobe in public the rules change. There are many fine products on the market these days. Or he can ask his teammate GSP what he does to rock such a fine tan up in the land of no sun.
Worst Referee Moment: Dan Miragliotta. Look, being a referee is a difficult, thankless job. You’re blamed for everything that goes wrong, and given no credit when things go right. That being said, sometimes the criticism is warranted, and officials should be held accountable. Last night Big Dan allowed Alessio Sakara to hammer fist Patrick Cote in the back of the head several times with not so much as a warning. He just kind of stood there, unaware that a major foul was being committed. I dunno, maybe he had to take a shit or something, that always takes precedent over everything else.