We’ve been so busy talking shit about random crap lately that we’ve ignored a whole bunch of ‘real’ MMA news, like who’s gonna fight who. Apparently in this mixed martial arts thing, that’s kinda an important factor. So we’re gonna catch you up to speed on all the bookings that have been made lately:
Carmelo Marrero vs Mike Ciesnolevicz @ IFL New Jersey: You might remember Marrero as the fluffy blanket that exposed Cheick Kongo’s non-existant ground game (as if ‘Kickboxer from France’ didn’t make that fact clear enough when he arrived). He’s facing Mike Ciesihfosfhaih, who’s done a pretty job against everyone in the IFL except Andre Gusmao, who’s beat him twice. Kryptonite, baby!
Jake Shields vs Drew Fickett @ Strikeforce: This one has been rumored forever but is finally official. It’s for the EliteXC welterweight belt, but I doubt it’ll take Jake Shields 5 rounds to defeat Drew Fickett. If you don’t know Jake Shields, you should just punch yourself in the face. Drew Fickett’s that dude who gave Karo that brutal cut under his eye, and that’s about the only real accomplishment he managed in the UFC. Oh, and he also likes to start fights at grappling events.
Nate Marquardt vs Thales Leites @ UFC 85: This should be a fucking barn burner – Nate looked pretty good against Jeremy Horn, nearly ripping the dude’s head off his body during their fight. Thales Leites’ only loss comes against Martin Kampmann, but past that he’s perfect. Marquardt will be Leites’ biggest challenge yet, so lets cross our fingers and hope he rises to the occasion. The UFC desperately needs a new middleweight contender or two.
Thiago Tavares vs Matt Wiman @ UFC 85: Here’s a chance for Thiago Tavares to live up to the Thiago name after a shitty performance against Michihiro Omigawa. Matt Wiman’s looked pretty good against lackluster opponents, so this is a step up for him.
Thiago Silva vs Antonio Mendes @ UFC 84 : They’re feeding Thiago Silva a UFC virgin for some reason, which seems like a big waste to me. I suppose they’re hoping a few more brutal knockouts will make people stand up and take notice that Silva is the real fucking deal.
Roan Carneiro vs Ryo Chonan @ UFC 85 : Roan Carneiro looked pretty good against Jon Fitch and even better against Tony DeSouza. We all know Ryo Chonan’s got the chops but can he put it together in the octagon? This could be a pretty good fight or another stinker. I’m hoping Carneiro’s aggressive jiu jitsu pushes Chonan to actually … ya know … fight?
Ricky Hatton vs Juan Lazcano @ Manchester Stadium: Hatton returns to the ring in England to face off against Juan Lazcano, who as far as I can tell seems to be a heavy underdog. A nice soft rebound for Fatton, a good beatdown for the UK fans and a few more belts for his collection to boot.