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I’m SO hoping “chewy molasses

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I’m SO hoping “chewy molasses cookies” is code for “I ate my own shit.” It’s a way better story that way.

(For reals: I’m jealous as fuck of anybody who can cook. My expertise ends at pancakes.)

Made: Got to school this morning and bought a coke. Took it to my desk. Left to get some shit done and forgot that coke existed. Returned to my desk: FREE COKE.