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its funny how being a cowboy

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its funny how being a cowboy is made up to be cool… its probably the shittiest job on earth.

Cowboys were called cowboys for a reason. You’re a dude who works with cows. There wasn’t so much gunslinging and adventuring as there was riding alongside cattle as they slowly lumbered their way toward trains, to be loaded up and shipped north. These cattle drives were sometimes up to a 1,000 miles long, and the task of trotting along and making sure your mass army of cows didn’t decide to up and head east to become sea cows, was about the most boring and smelliest job in history.

“What are we doing today, cows? Walking, and shitting? Oh, awesome, terrific.”

The closest most cowboys got to excitement was wrangling cattle to be branded or castrated, because nothing says excitement quite like forcing a dim-eyed beast into a corner to have someone saw off its balls. The rest of the time the cowboy performed mundane ranch duties, stomping through ankle-high piles of cow turds the whole time. The pay was about the equivalent of working at Taco Bell.

Eventually the era of the cowboy ended. Did a new gunslinging sheriff ride into town and restore order through the barrel of a six gun? No, ranchers just figured out that the job could be done better by a few dollars worth of metal wire. The invention of the barbed wire fence pretty much rendered the cowboy obsolete, since cows have subpar fence climbing skills at best and once they were fenced in, there wasn’t much need for round-ups.

Then the railroads expanded, so cattle didn’t need to be walked 1,000 miles to the nearest station for shipment. The last cowboys were forced to play sad songs on the harmonica out on the open range before riding off into the sunset, which we assume means they went to join some kind of cabaret show.



and riding a bull does not make you a cowboy… it makes you a bull rider.