glassjawsh's top 10 fights evs (WITH LINKS!) (Part 1)
September 30, 2013 at 2:34 am #531925
There was a lot of 8th grade hyperbole running around the internet this past week calling the Jones/Gustafsson fight the totes-best-evers-for-realz (srsly you guys, is it gus-TUF-sson or goo-STOFF-sson? because that shit is starting to piss me off…).
Dave Meltzer over at MMAFighting wrote a horrible article about why it’s probably not even in the top 10. And once you get past your disbelief that they actually pay that guy to churn out disjointed posts with horrible grammar and run on sentences, it’s hard to disagree with him. It was an awesome scrap because of what was at stake (belt, records, truckloads of cash and pussy) and because it was hard for the viewer to comprehend that Alex was doing so well. But the same can be said for that time Handy came back and dominated Tim Sylvia, and we all know what a boring as fuck fight that actually was when taken out of context. I’m not saying that Bones v Gus wasn’t an outstanding match, just that it doesn’t belong with the likes of the 10 other fights I’m about to blast in your face like you’re one of those “amateur” girls on the backroom casting couch (real talk: I’m still pretty bitter about that stuff being fake).
Note: This, like every list of “top anything” ever, is all my opinion. If you think I’m as dumb as a pile a baby puke that’s totally ok. But this list exists more for your entertainment (AWESOME FIGHTS!) then it does as a mechanism to show how much I know about stuff (or whatever). So take it at face value. As always, any and all complaints can be addressed here
10. Kazushi Sakuraba def Zelg Gelasic via Kneebar at 1:40 RD 1- Dream 12, October 29, 2009
The Backstory: I shouldn’t have to tell you that Kazushi Sakuraba is a goddamn living legend. The dude got slammed on his head by a much bigger Wanderlei Silva so hard his collar bone essentially exploded and was visibly protruding into his skin (he was out for only 9 months and was then, because Japan, he was greeted by Mirko fucking Cro Cop upon his return), then another time his ear was literally hanging by a single piece of skin and instead of giving up right there like a reasonable human being, this crazy asshole tried to hold it in place with his hand and keep fighting. He basically made a career out of this formula: Saku + murder = ? His body is so mangled from abuse that he could conceivable be a real life candidate to become a Japanese RoboCop (SakuCop, FUCK YEAH!). Oh, and also by this time Saku was 40 and on 2 bum knees.
Why this Fight is Awesome: Zelg Galesic might be a career journeymen, but the dude has death in his fists. Unfortunately for Kazushi, his gameplan seemed to be: 1 take Galesic down 2. get punched in the face 60 times without returning a single shot 3. grab hail mary kneebar 4. victory smokes! And even more unfortunately for Saku, that’s exactly what fucking happened. This fight was ridiculous because it could have easily been stopped in Gelasic’ favor on 3 separate occasions before Saku pulled off the finish (one that tore his opponent’s knee up to the point that he couldn’t fight for over 18 months). It was also just about the perfect analogy for the guy’s career.
WATCH THIS SHIT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_tsO2-8WQI (fight starts at 4:40)
9. Jorge Santiago def Kazuo Misaki via corner stoppage at 4:31 RD 5 – Sengoku 14, August 22, 2010
The Backstory: Though Jorge Santiago has pretty much embarrassed himself inside the UFC (1-5 over 3 different stint, including 3 brutal KO losses) he’s the kind of guy who had pretty much cleaned up everywhere else. Kazuo Misaki is a Pride and Strikeforce veteran who once outpointed Dan Henderson, boxed up Paul Daley and guillotined Kazuhiro Nakamura into oblivion. This fight was a rematch of a come from behind victory for Santiago the previous year and was for the Sengoku Middleweight strap. Basically, this was one of the best fights above 155 pounds that Japan could make back in 2010.
Why this Fight was Awesome: Though the first 5 minutes were spent mostly with Misaki in Santiago’s guard, the next 4 were basically fought at as high a pace as possible for two guys who weighed 185 pounds. There were so many back and forth “holy shit!” moments in this one that announcer Frank Trigg literally yelled “SHUT UP!” Elaine Benes style after Misaki threatened with a deep guillotine in the second round. When Misaki nearly blacked out Santiago with that choke, he immediately answered by dropping Kazuo with a head kick in the 3rd, which was immediately followed by Misaki flooring Jorge with a huge left in the 4th. This bout was so taxing that it ended when Misaki’s corner threw in the towel in last half minute because he was so tired that he honestly believed 30 more seconds of fighting would have killed him. To put that into contenxt, Kaz Misaki once smashed into a police car and led the cops on a high speed chase through Tokyo after being pulled over for texting while driving. So when a dude that gangster says he’s going to die in the ring, you’d better fucking believe him.
WATCH THIS SHIT!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ML6aemEO60c
8. Don Frye def Yoshihiro Takayama via Mustache and Swarthiness at 6:10 of RD 1 – Pride 21, June 22, 2002
The Backstory: Don Frye was still 14-1 at this point and was just coming off a huge win over Ken Shamrock (this was before Kenny turned into the literal and figurative punching bag he is today). He had just come out of a stint in pro wrestling and was HUGE in Japan. Don Frye was and is a real life action hero, who wore stars and stripes underpants before the hipsters made doing that sort of thing irritating. Yoshihiro Takayama was a doughy Japanese giant of a pro wrestler who was 0-2 and did not give one single shit about anything other than being awesome for your entertainment.
Why this Fight was Awesome: Dude…c’mon…This is THAT fight. If you honestly haven’t seen this already you are a boring shell of a human being with fake friends and few social skills and at every party you go to nothing awesome will ever happen until after you leave. Viewing this is THAT crucial to MMA fandom. These two warriors simply sized each other up, grabbed the scruff of their opponent’s neck and then smashed their fists in one another’s mouths until somebody dropped (hint: it was the Asian guy). The carnage that ensued took so much out of both men that Frye promptly went 5-8-1 over the rest of his career, while Takayama lost his lone remaining appearance to Bob Sapp BY FUCKING ARMBAR. FACT!: this fight has so much machismo and masculinity in it that every red blooded female who viewed it live was immediately inseminated with a son that 9 months later emerged from her birth canal riding a chopper and smoking non-filters. It was that amazing.
WATCH THIS SHIT! http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xp58a5_don-frye-vs-yoshihiro-takayama-pride_shortfilms (fight start at 4:25)
7. Cheick Kong def Pat Barry via KO at 2:39 of RD 1 – UFC Live: Kongo vs Barry, June 26, 2011.
The Backstory: Fuck Cheick Kongo. The dude has a horrible reputation for intentionally kneeing his opponent in the scrote and is generally considered to be a dirty fighter. However, he IS built like a goddamn Marvel comic and can shut off someone’s lights with his fists if given the opportunity. By COMPLETE contrast, everyone loves them some Pat Barry. He’ll never be more than a mid-card guy but he is one of the most genuine and hilarious human beings in fight sport and can be downright scary with his leg kicks. In Barry’s last few fights though, he’d seemed to have eschewed his tendencies toward spectacular violence in favor of a strategy that was more centered upon high fives and bro hugs. As a result, Pat was hearing it from the fans and therefore decided to switch up his fight style yet again.
Why this Fight is Awesome: Pat Barry’s “change of style” basically just involved rushing at Kongo full speed from the opening bell and then smashing his asshole face. What ensued was the most intense dramedy of violence ever contained in 159 seconds (and really just the last the 24 seconds). The sequence of events unfolded as follows: at 2:15 Barry clubs Kongo with a huge right hand and follows him to the ground with massive punches (Joe Rogan screams “IT’S OVER!” for the 1st time). Kongo barely survives and rises back to his feet, at 2:27 Barry cracks and drops Kongo AGAIN with a huge right (Joe Rogan screams that it’s over for a 2nd time) and Kongo AGAIN somehow manages to return to his feet, at 2:35 Barry AGAIN stuns Kongo with a big right hand and backs him up against the cage (Rogan and Goldberg wonder aloud how he is still standing), Barry then recklessly walks in for the killshot and BOOM! he catches two right hands to the dome from Kongo and wakes up staring at the lights. Joe Rogan nearly has an aneurysm and the FL chat I was in at the time explodes into exclamation points and banshee screeches. Breath taking.
WATCH THIS SHIT! http://vimeo.com/50533972 (fight starts at 6:10)
6. Nick Diaz def Takanori Gomi via Gogoplata at 1:46 of Rd 2 – Pride 33, February 27, 2007.
The Backstory: Nick Diaz had just quit the UFC in order to join a promotion that didn’t exist (SO Nick Diaz). And other than knocking out Dana White’s Robbie Lawler sized Christmas present to himself and a trilogy of fights against everyone’s second favorite MMA related convicted rapist, he hadn’t really done anything to establish himself yet. Gomi on the other hand, was still widely regarded as a top 3 lightweight in the world, had been involved in absolute classics with Tatsuya Kawajiri and Hayato Sakurai, and had only lost once in 4 years.
Why this Fight was Awesome: Let’s just say that this was the fight that made me think, “this Nick Diaz guy…this guy…this guy’s actually pretty awesome”. From the onset this thing was chaos. Gomi, though widely regarded for his hands, went straight for a take down. Roughly 2 minutes in, after a standing restart, Gomi absolutely FLOORS Diaz with a brutal right hand and then follows him to the ground with a flurry of blows that ultimately ended up tiring Takanori out. At the 3 minute mark, Gomi already had his hands at his sides and was winging his punches from his hip. I mean, I understand that Nick Diaz’ deal is great cardio and he uses a swarm of punches to tire his opponents out. But in this one it seemed as if during his training camp, Gomi hadn’t even considered that the fight was going to last more than half a round. There is literally a point IN THE FIRST ROUND where Takanori Gomi is so tired that all he can do is stand in front of Nick Diaz and let him punch him in the face. What made this thing great though, was that despite his obvious exhaustion, Gomi still spent the entire fight throwing murder bombs at Diaz’ face, cracking him to the extent that Nick’s face was so bloody that the Fireball Kid spent most of the 2nd frame calling for the ref to stop the fight. But Diaz endured it all and kept coming forward. I remember catching a replay of this on some late night sports channel and wondering how EITHER of them were still standing going into the second round. The fight was then capped off by a ridiculously slick transition to a gogoplata by Diaz. Then some fascist shit happened (or whatever) and Diaz got popped for marijuana after the fight. That shit would get you slapped in Stockton!
WATCH THIS SHIT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkHvL9kHzDQ
ok, it’s 2 am and I’m exhausted, I’ll finish this laterSeptember 30, 2013 at 11:09 am #531929
i’ll read this WHEN I GIVE A FUCK.September 30, 2013 at 11:58 am #531930
I think all the post fight hype was because we’ve never seen Bones in that much trouble repeatedly (outside of that Vitor arm bar). On top of nobody giving Gus a chance that made eveyone lose their shit. And Gus took a lot of good shots from JJ and was still in his face. It was a damn good fight but a little over blown with the “best eva” talk. I’m looking forward to the rematch.
I wonder who the UFC will have Gus fight while JJ takes on Glover. You know they don’t want to lose that rematch. As shown in that last fight Jones can get hit and if Glover tags him it could be a gamechanger.October 1, 2013 at 1:54 pm #531941
The Diaz GoGo fight is in my top 10. The others……whatevs. 2nd Edgar vs Maynard fight is way up there. And…..can’t remember much else b/c my memory suxxorz. Also, FUCK YOU FENIX. Don’t be a bitter jerk just b/c this site fell apart & there’s nothing left to love.October 1, 2013 at 9:04 pm #531948
i really didn’t have time to read it.October 3, 2013 at 9:35 pm #531963
Good list. When you post the rest I’ll sit down and watch them all again. I do think Frye v Takayama was a work, though.November 16, 2013 at 9:21 am #532315
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