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Ortiz to fight Lil Nog

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  iamphoenix 5 years, 11 months ago.

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    So I thought he was cut, but I obtained the phone conversation between Tito and Dana White that brought this deal together thanks to…pretty good read:

    Tito: Dana it’s me Tito “The HUNTINGTON BEACH BAD BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ortiz!

    Dana: What it is fucker.

    Tito: What do I gotta do to get another fight in the UFC?

    Dana: Suck my dick.

    TIto: Consider it done, I’m real good at that shit.

    Dana: I was joking….

    Tito: Yeah me too haha. Really…but I totally would though haha lol.

    Dana: Listen cocksucker, you haven’t won a fight since Shamrock and everybody already knew Shamrock was just a walking comatose retard patient. You are fucking done.

    Tito: C’mon don’t be like that, after all I’ve done over a DECADE ago!!

    Dana: But no one cares about you anymore. That don’t want to see you fight, they didn’t think your shirt was even remotely funny.

    Tito: But Dana, you’re my hero! I know I’ve said some stuff about you before but come on, let me lose for a fourth straight time out there, I want to go out like Chuck and Jens Pulver. PLEASE! I want to suck even more than I do now! You don’t even have to put me up against a contender in the division because lets face it, I’ll lose to whoever you put me in there with because lets face it, my fighting style is so 2000-late!

    Dana: Fuck man, I don’t even know what 2000-late means. Listen, I don’t know what to tell you, people don’t even care to hate you anymore, you’re old news.

    Tito; I don’t care! There’s nothing more that I love than going out there and still not knowing how to fight and I’m not even a good wrestler.

    Dana: I know Tito. Everyone already knows you’re not a good fighter. You never really were, you just laid on top of dudes.

    Tito: Your right man…I fucking suck, there’s no way I can be even worse than I am now…

    Dana: Ok. You’re gonna fighting Lil Nog. I believe you can do incredibly worse than you have for the last 5 years. Losing fights by decision is one thing, you need to start getting knocked out bad.

    Tito: But Lil Nog kinda sucks too…

    Dana: Yeah but he doesn’t suck as bad as you, and he sucks bad.

    TIto: Ok I’m going to jackoff now and sniff my semen to get high.

    Dana: Cool, you’ll fight in March because hopefully you’ll have died by then I don’t have to pay you anymore. I gotta go and make more stupid matchups and ensure to put on crappy events like I’ve been doing ever since I named that one UFC event called Knockout even though no one got knocked out that night. Yeah, it’s been that long since there was a good UFC event. Really.

    Tito: True story, I already started jacking off.

    Dana: Oh, I’ve been doing that this whole phone conversation we’re having.

    Tito: Sweet.


    G Funk

    Probably creepily accurate.



    this really happened.






    The way things are going, Tito could probably fight in the UFC till he’s 50 & not get another win.


    ^ fine by me as long as he gets his ass beat




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