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Guy Fieri jockeying for Joe Rogan’s job

You know Guy Fieri, right? Everyone knows Guy Fieri. He’s the new Emeril, just less corny, and instead of a lame-ass chef’s coat he does his thing in casual attire and flip flops. Thank God Emeril never wore flip flops. Those toes probably look like chewed knockwursts. Anyway, Fieri is a huge MMA fan, and in an interview with UFC.com he says he’s such a big fan that he wouldn’t mind filling in for Joe Rogan one day:

“When (UFC color commentator) Joe Rogan goes out with laryngitis, I want a shot. That’s how much of a fan I am.”

Rogan better watch his back. Fieri is an immensely popular dude. His hit show, Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives has become the Law and Order of the Food Network. The great thing about Law and Order is that no matter what time of the day it is that shit is on at least one channel, and I’m referring of course to the old originals and the wonderfully depraved SVU series, not the ones with Private Pyle and after. Triple D is getting to that point. And that’s a good thing. Mostly everything else on that channel sucks. Iron Chef America took a beautiful concept and fucked it up. Now instead of a weird guy in a cape biting a yellow pepper to start the show off, we get a B actor doing flips and having his staff refer to his as “the chairman.”

The only reason Rogan’s job is safe, for now, is that Fieri uses way too many phrases from Swingers. That “money” shit was cool for about a minute. Guy also needs to be much more honest if he hopes to commentate for the UFC. With his blunt commentary, Rogan has drawn the ire of many-a-fighter who could whoop his ass, whereas I’ve yet to see Fieri try some shithole’s meatloaf and go, “Oh God that taste like ass.”

  • noiseless

    kind of stopped downloading events because of goldstein. can’t even imagine how it must be actually paying for his insane ramblings. seems sweet though. no clue who this guy dude is.

  • Letibleu

    I hate this guy as a chef. Funny you mentioned meatloaf cause the first time i saw one of his cooking shows he was making meatloaf. He was mixing everything up in the bowl with his hands. He was wearing these giant ugly rings on every finger and that shit was getting in there, made me feel sick. In the culinary world he is the butt end of many bad jokes “i pulled a Fieri, this soup tastes like ass”

    http://media10.onsugar.com/files/2011/10/41/4/192/1922195/4598d05004ee5f6e_GuyFieri_Bill_120129050_600.preview.jpg

  • Reverend Clint

    Guy is a local hero here… he started in the restaurant business with a popcorn cart where i used to live in Ferndale. I would like to see him do maybe the fueltv shows

  • TheButtStrangler

    Dana:
    “Note to self,
    A brilliant opportunity has come to my attention today that I think may be just what our new deal with Fox has been needing!
    Also Justin Beiber didn’t return my calls last night.
    I wonder if he’s mad at me?
    Have secretary call FTD and send a gift basket of bubblegum and energy drinks ASAP.”

  • randlemansvertical

    Just made an account to say ButtStrangler is a massive faggot that tries way too hard to be comical. Fightlinker is usually good for a few lols, but this cocksucker kills the comments section. He is an enormous gaping anus spackled with man-milk and shit.

  • TheButtStrangler

    Well thank goodness you just made an account to straighten the course with your comedy stylings.

    And I suppose we’ve got me to thank for that.

  • Reverend Clint

    hey randleman… if you dont like them you aren’t being forced to read them

  • MadMan

    so Guy Fieri is one of Clints heros…lmfao!

    if that dude ever commentates a ufc event,
    i will forsake the ufc, mma, & all combat sports
    in general, for all eternity….serious.

  • MadMan

    …Amen!

  • TheButtStrangler

    Guy Fieri>Justin Beiber.

    (For whatever thats worth…)

  • atrondodo

    Vorrei realizzare un impianto fotovoltaico da 3.5kW sul mio tetto. Avete
    un’idea su dove posso comprare i pannelli solari? Quale e la migliore
    azienda? Ogni consiglio e ben accettato. Grazie

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