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Hermes Franca Loves Starting Shit

Come with me willfully or I will force you. Choose now.

Is it just me or has Hermes Franca been starting shit with anybody and everyone as of late?

First it was the much-publicized feud with Marcus Aurelio — MMA’s version of Sir Mix-a-lot (hint: they’re both one hit wonders). Aurelio claimed that Franca disrespected American Top Team by awarding Kurt Pellegrino a black belt without the consent of Ricardio Liborio and, as a result, “almost the whole team doesn’t like him.” Franca insisted that he made nice with most of the team and wanted to beat Aurelio because he didn’t “respect him as a man.” Those silly Brazilians are big on nonsense like “loyalty” and “respect” — as is John Cena. In the end, Franca came away with the victory and Aurelio got the boot from the UFC.

Next was the just plain bizarre situation between Franca and Joe Lauzon. The two were booked to main event this Saturday’s Fight Night 17 card, before Franca had to pull out with a knee injury. Lauzon, a TUF5 semi-finalist, went on the Underground forum to wish Franca a speedy recovery. Franca’s ten year old cousin must have been on his computer because the response was the following:

lol Joe, u have no idea how excited i was to fight against you,   especially when i saw your brother fighting,man he sucks uhauahuahauha!!!!!!!

While Franca’s training partner Jeremy Stephens has stepped up to fight Lauzon on Saturday, the former lightweight title challenger still hopes for a chance to punch a hole in Lauzon’s boyish face.

I’m pissed, and I can’t wait to fight him. I’m mad and want to step in the cage and face him – and I want to fight him in Boston, his city. I want to make him feel bad over there.

As if Franca hasn’t been ruffling enough feathers in the MMA community as of late, he just called out ‘The Muscle Shark’ in a TATAME interview when asked who he would like to fight in the UFC.

I would like to face Sean Sherk again. I think we have a work to finish.

I would have to disagree with that assessment. My memory of that fight includes a dominant five-round performance from Sherk, where he ate a few hard knees to the face from Franca and shrugged them off like he was RoboCop. But that didn’t stop Franca from calling him out.

I think the UFC needs to book Franca vs. Nate Diaz immediately, simply for the pre-fight buildup. I imagine the two of them sitting down for an interview, Diaz with an angry grimace on his face and Franca with a smug ear-to-ear smile.

Franca: Nate is not a bad fighter but I will surely get the victory. He is shaped like a toothpick and his brother sucks. Haha! What color should I dye my hair for this bout?

Diaz: Yo man, you best shut the fuck up or I’ll smack that smile right off your bitch face.

Franca: Whoa, calm down. I did not mean offense, only that your family is a group of degenerates and I can’t wait to smash your stupid head. With respect.

At that point, Nick Diaz runs in and starts swinging a broken bottle of King Cobra at Franca’s throat. ‘Krazy Horse’ shows up and utter madness ensues.