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Hogwarts School of Beatdowns and Jitzery

Alnwick Castle is best known as the castle where they filmed most of the Hogwarts crap in the Harry Potter series of films. While there’s no quidditch field, there’s apparently room in there for a steel cage. And fortunately for us MMA fans, the ‘gloriously eccentric’ Duchess of Northumberland who runs the place is down with letting the place be used for mixed martial arts:

“I’d have failed here if this was just a garden for garden-lovers,” the Duchess tells me. “My job is to provide a venue for people who want to do all kinds of things. And this is for 16- to 30-year-old men who wouldn’t normally come to a garden.

“You’ve got a community on your doorstep who don’t have enough to do on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night. They’re crying out for things like this. I want to blow people away, to take them out of their everyday life, to come in here and think, ‘Shit, that’s unbelievable.’ ”

Yeah! Potty mouth duchess!

The Duchess, who has been boxing for years as well as learning to fight with sticks, has seen cage fighting only on television, but she has some strong views about its merits. “Have you seen Alex Reid – Jordan’s guy?” she asks. “Well, it’s that. Boxing. A bit of kick-boxing. All sorts of martial arts but within a cage.

“You’re not just given a knuckle-duster and told to kill your opponent. There’s an art to it. It’s incredibly disciplined. And that discipline is the same thing you get in the Army.

“It’s too easy for someone in London to say, ‘Typical, off she goes again with her cage fighting.’ But let them come to the North East. They don’t understand the communities up here. We have our own problems and we deal with them our own way.”

What a creepy way to sum it up. “It’s fuckin’ depressing up here. So we’re gonna beat the shit out of each other and in the end it’ll all be okay.”

(via Middle Easy)

  • Danjo

    I’m off to image search for this potty mouth duchess. Because she sounds hot as fuck. in my mind, i am envisioning a strong, yet heart achingly beautiful warrior maiden, with toned lean arms and the tits of a goddess.

  • Danjo
  • Subbevil

    I’ve been to Alnwick Castle. It’s weird, you’re used to going to historical sites like that and having them be nationally recognized historic sites, but that thing is the private property of the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland – and they live in it. There’s pictures of their kids everywhere. Apparently one daughter is also eccentric, and is like a mechanic or something.

  • frickshun

    That is cool as fuck!!

    And thanks to Danjo for doing the extra legwork that this post demanded!!

  • Reverend Clint

    more like beatdowns and jizzery

  • Subbevil
  • iamphoenix

    both of them at the same time.

  • Danjo

    Clint, read my mind.

    Penis, right on. For great-fucking-justice, right on.

  • repenttokyo

    it was either mixed martial arts or build a wicker man.  i think they made the right choice.

  • scissors61

    what a badass lady

  • CAP

    She sounds cool to me!


    1. dutchess

    a type of cigar similar to swisher sweets commonly used to roll marijuana with.

    I split the dutchess and filled it with weed.


    2. dutchess

    A heterosexual female that displays the aesthetic of a mockery of a duke, which is a heterosexual male version of a dyke.

    P!nk is a dutchess. She is the HDIC aka the Head Dutchess In Charge.


    3. Dutchess

    any female who can roll a marijuana Dutch with amazing skill. Look at that blunt!

    That girl is The Dutchess.


    4. Dutchess A female who gives the Dutch Oven to her boyfriend.

    Rebecca made Chad almost suffocate to death when she dutch-ovened him in bed last night. She is quite the Dutchess.

  • frickshun

    ^^I like #4!!