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How close Kurt Angle really was to being in the UFC

The he said she said between Kurt Angle and Dana White continues. Here’s how it works: Kurt Angle says some stuff about how he was totally nearly almost in the UFC but some tiny detail derailed the whole thing. Then Dana gets asked by reporters what the deal was and responds “Uuuuuh, no.” After several rinse and repeats, Dana has finally outlined exactly what the deal was with Angle:

“I like Kurt Angle,” White said. “He’s a nice guy. I’ve never had any problems with Kurt Angle. Good guy. Kurt Angle was calling me to fight in the UFC. He wanted to fight in the UFC. He wanted to come over here and whatever, especially after Brock got in.”

White carefully chose his words as he discussed the situation, and he said he didn’t it to sound like he was bashing or disrespecting the 42-year-old.

“What I offered him was, I said, ‘Come over here. I’ll put you on ‘The Ultimate Fighter,”” White said. “The season Kimbo Slice was on, I was going to put him on ‘The Ultimate Fighter.’ He wanted to do it.

“We worked out a deal, but he didn’t pass the medicals.”

And thus ended Angle’s brief flirtation with the UFC.

What’s shocking here is how accurate this is compared to some of Kurt’s past statements. And here I was thinking pro wrestlers were incapable of telling the truth. It’s like all those chair shots and concussions have sent them halfway between alternate universes where a totally different reality exists. These poor inter-dimensional superstars.

So let’s summarize:

  • Dana White offered a TUF slot to Angle: True!
  • Dana wanted Kurt to jump in with little prep: True!
  • Dana was going to pay Kurt a buttload of cash: True!
  • Kurt was going to fight Kimbo on PPV: False
  • Kurt Angle passed his medicals: False

I’m not going to niggle over tiny details like Kurt vs Kimbo on PPV or TUF – if they were both on the same season of TUF, that’s good enough for me. But one thing Angle said over and over in all his interviews was that he passed his medicals. Which he did not. Those of you with above average fixations for spandex and ring-based soap opera know the deal: Angle’s vertebrae is like a spongy jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing. It’s amazing he even wrestles. Fortunately no one cares about the health of pro wrestlers, so he’s good to go there. In the world of MMA … not so much.

  • iamphoenix

    niggle.

  • G Funk

    He would’ve been a smaller HW than Rashad and just a few flips younger than Handy. He would’ve cleaned out the division!

  • Royal

    No. He wouldn’t

  • iamphoenix

    yes. he would.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Big Country probably would’ve buried Kurt in flab and it would’ve been hilarious.

  • Danjo

    Kurt has that crazy man’s gleam in his eyes, and it’s not just his WWE persona or stage presence.

    Motherfucker is cray-zay.

    He would not be a technician in the octagon, despite his superior wrestling. He’d go balls deep crazy two-fisted monkey style and get his block knocked off a few times (that’s “knocked out” for you dumb fucks out there) and be done in two.

  • Blackula Jonez

    Rofl @ balls deep crazy two fisted monkey style.

     

    The forbidden art of shaolin.

  • Danjo

    I read my shit post above, and need to clarify myself.

    He’d be done in two fights. He would get KO’d in both, and the UFC would drop “The Angle Experiment” at that point, leaving him to shudder under a blanket in his dark closet, pissing himself as he weeps and sucks his thumb (or Brock’s dick).

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