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It places the lotion in the basket

As I was watching the train wreck that was the Michael Hill/Matt Secor fight on the last episode of TUF, there was just something weird about Hill that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. The hair, the odd voice – it was all too eerily familiar. Then it hit me, this mother fucker looks like Buffalo Bill, for real.

Tease out that hair a little, deepen the voice, tuck the sack back, and rock out to some “Goodbye Horses” and we got a dead-on-balls match. It’s quite disturbing, actually. Buffalo Bill still haunts me to this day. Some people are scared of ghosts, zombies, all that nonsense. To hell with that. I’m scared of Buffalo Bill, because even though he was a fictitious character he was still based on several real serial killers – people like that do exist.

Also, somewhere out there in the world is a photo of me as a very young man, drunk off my ass, doing “The Tuck.” It gives me an uneasy feeling to know that someday whichever one of my old Marine buddies that has it is going to find that picture and put it on Facebook. Not to mention that I once briefly dated a girl named Catherine Martin, the name of my street is Moffett, and it’s obvious I have severe issues with Silence of the Lambs. So maybe it’s just me, but I see a clear resemblance.

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