I’m thinking I’ll be using the “nice ass” Versus picture every time there’s a fight on that network.
We’ve seen a great deal of evolution in terms of human behavior and interaction over the last hundred years. People are now able to communicate in real time, cross-reference their beliefs and actions with others, and are provided with the greatest tools for introspection and development in our history. However, we haven’t seen such a corresponding drop in what is popularly considered immoral or counterproductive behavior – alcoholics exchanging drink recipes, pot growers discussing techniques for greater yields and defendants in court comparing notes with others. Rather than kick our bad habits, we’ve streamlined them, made them more efficient, and imbued ourselves with the belief that we, as individuals, are in fact smarter than everyone else, and able to maintain OUR bad habits while OTHERS are consumed by them.
It is in this spirit of recklessly disregarding the very real possible negative consequences of our actions that I begin my career as an analyst of betting lines for MMA cards. Betting on MMA has never been easier – not only is Congress finally going through the process of overturning the bullshit internet gambling ban passed by the outgoing Republican majority in 2006, but there are all kinds of new fans getting into MMA putting their stupid money where their equally stupid mouths are (kind of like when everyone started seeing poker on TV and then proceeded to get pillaged on the felt). BetUS is our official Fightlinker gambling partner, and I have to report that, since signing up with them, I’m happy – you get a personal account representative that you can call anytime, a variety of initial buy-in bonuses and the ability to bet on just about whatever your heart desires once it’s in season. Plus, every time one of you Jackals clicks on one of these links and signs up (no deposit required to create an account), Ryan gains access to a new flavor of cat food. Do your Orange Drug Den a favor and sign up if you haven’t already.
DISCLAIMER: Fightlinker is an MMA blog that specialize in welched bets and jokes about horse dicks. Any betting advice given out by us must be underscored by this fact. You can’t sue us, and even if you could, we don’t have any money.
Prelims: I know very little about a lot of these fighters – concurrently, I’ll be keeping my mouth shut on them.
* Brian Stann is making his 185 debut against Mike “The Master of Disaster” Massenzio, who is coming off of a TKO loss to CB Dollaway. You may remember Stann being dominated by Phil Davis, but Davis could turn out to me a monster at 205 and Stann looked much better at today’s weigh ins. Combine Stann’s great work with soldiers returning from battle with Mike’s absymal, unbettable nickname – you get a small play on Stann at +150.
* James Irvin returns to 205 after an ill-fated (and Tales From The Crypt-esque) drop to middleweight against Igor Pokrajac. Igor has pretty much used up his “I was Cro Cop’s training partner” frequent flier miles, losing his first two UFC fights to the Janitor and James Te Huna – he’ll need this win to keep his job. Come to think of it, this is probably a pinkslip on a pole match – thus, despite my faith that Irvin will pull this off, I’m keeping my money away from his -180 line (could be attractive as part of a parlay bet).
* Matthew Riddle, still riding the crest of the wave created by his jaw-breaking knockout during the fight-ins for TUF, has been installed as a -210 favorite against DeMarques Johnson (+185). I find this ridiculous. Johnson has won two straight fights since falling to James Wilks at the TUF finale, scoring a SOTN bonus against Edgar Garcia and KO…OTN against against Brad Blackburn. Riddle, on the other hand, has lost to Nick Osipczak and earned an upkick DQ victory against Greg Soto (to be fair, Riddle was winning that fight). Methinks this is a clear cut case of remembering one badass knockout (and, of course, taking a shit on season 9 of TUF) – I like a play on Johnson, despite what looked to be a rough cut at today’s weigh-ins.
* FOTN will probably be Jacob Volkmann and Paul Taylor, which is currently a toss-up. Don’t bet it.
Tomorrow, we’ll break down the main card, make some more self-deprecating jokes to illustrate the absurdity of taking betting advice from a guy that lives in his mom’s basement, and try to get more of you fuckers to sign up for BetUS. Join us then!