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Jacob Volkmann wants to rip Obama’s arm up

It seems that Jacob Volkmann is trying to become the next Dick from Fightlinker: trying way too hard to make bad jokes that wouldn’t be funny even if delivered perfectly. After saying in the ring that he wanted to tear Obama’s belly button out and insert a glass window to facilitate craniorectal insertion, he increased his class level even further backstage when he told MiddleEasy that he would grab Obama’s arm and “try and rip it” in the event that Volkmann vs. Obama ever occurred. Transcript via CagePotato:

My beef with Obama? It seems like all his decisions, he’s not really thinking them through, he’s basing his decisions, it seems like, on who is paying him the most money. They’re not really logical, they’re not good policies. Like making a home affordable plan, the health care plan he’s got, it’s like, ‘Where’d you come up with that? Were you even thinking when you wrote it?’ I would for sure take him down and submit him. I would try to make it a very painful submission though. Try and do like a Kimura or an armbar, try and rip it.

“His policies are dumb and what’s up with Obamacare?!?” Yeah, what is up with that, bro? Share more astute political insights with us, please! Just let me get a pen so I can write these down. They’re that good.

&feature=player_embedded#%21″ target=”_blank”>This isn’t the first time Volkmann has discussed violence against the POTUS, and evidently the only lesson he learned from the first time was that visits from the secret service are totally enjoyable and awesome. There is only one explanation that I can think of: the men in black who visited him were Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones and they ended up having lots of wacky adventures. But to be fair, MiddleEasy did ask Volkmann leading questions practically begging him for more juicy quotes about bashing Obama’s face in. And as we are quickly learning, that’s not too terribly different from pulling Chael Sonnen’s voice toy cord or asking Nick Diaz why weed is awesome.

  • Mixed Martial Adam

    Jacob Volkman thought that Saddam Hussein was alive the last time he was on the MMA Hour (six months ago) and actually tried to correct Helwani when Ariel mentioned that he was dead. That’s how closely this “political fighter” follows politics.

  • Reverend Clint

    i like how he has really no intelligable reason to not like obama… which is really how most people are. Pick a reason you fucking idiot psudo-doctor. Go back to our “medical” practice and leave the politicing to people who dont get smashed in the head for money.

  • G Funk

    I can’t believe I lol’d with your opening paragraph Cock.

    There are soo many reasons to hate on Obama, especially as of late. All you have to do is pick ONE! Like that thing that volds talks about & um healthcare and stuff… whata tard.



  • G Funk

    I’d start with his signing of the Patriot Act into law, then the dissolution of the due process right. Of course continuing the bailout. He’s a Bush with a “D” next to his name, a lipsticked pig, a monkey in a suit.

  • CAP

    Dude is coming off as a lame ass pud, kinda like his fighting style. Just a dry personality and bad jokes. My wife went to school with him and says he’s a nice guy but he isn’t helping his image any.

    You fools. Chiropractic is the shit you just need to find a good doc who knows wtf they are doing. Like every profession some are good and some are bad, even doctors.

  • Trembling Eagle

    Volkmann comes off like a pedophile

  • thingvolds

    lol at volkmann truly believing obama is the guy making these decisions. he’s almost as misguided than the people who will be voting obama back in this year.

  • Blackula Jonez

    If only he had waited a couple days he could have ranted on how Obama singed NDAA into law.


    Now thats some bullshit.

  • dick

    Yeeeahhhh… If, as a healthcare provider, he actually said something intelligent about why Obamacare could fuck the country over completely, that would have been nice. But it would have been far easier to point out the INDEFINITE DETENTION WITHOUT TRIAL OF US CITIZENS. Even an idiot could do that. Instead, we get talk about glass windows and arm ripping. Way to make yourself and your sport look great.

  • Letibleu

    I usually walk away from people that talk to me like this about politics without saying a word. Even Volds I read because he backs his shit up and seems to at least educate himself before stating something. Volkanator is doing no good to his career.

  • iamphoenix

    “I’m completely stupid.”


  • subo

    I’m so glad Adam remembers that.  “No, we got him, Ariel!”  And of course our previous president was completely unbeholden to his campaign contributors.


    Jacob Volkmann is a fucking idiot and an unfunny troll.  I hope he gets Tibau’d in his next fight.

  • Redping

    yeah I have no idea how you could hold Obama accountable for actions you don’t really want to refer to, but you wouldn’t mention the SOPA bill and try to put it on him? That is, if you believe that the president really has that much control over anything. Volkmann really represents what I imagine the typical republican voter to act and think like. Except a million times more talented, I suppose. This guy makes Jeff Monson look like richard fuckin dawkins or something in comparison, because at least the guy has some semblance of a point to the things he says

  • Jarman

    volds, blackula, dick and redping, well fucking said. Maybe he could’ve even mentioned how Obama said he would veto the NDAA bill, with it’s “America is a battleground” bullshit and its indefinite detention asshattery, but when the time came, he backed down like a bitch, and threw out some manufactured, schizophrenic speech about how freedom is good, but the world is scary, and we need indefinite detention. fucking jokeshow volkmann. fucking jokeshow obama.*facepalm*

    Dick, sweet opener. I lol’d. then had to check it was you writing it. then lol’d harder.

  • frickshun

    Good write-up cockbreath.