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Jail has turned Jon Koppenhaver into a sensitive man

A freshly rehabilitated Jon Koppenhaver appeared on the MMA Hour earlier this week, and is continuing to surprise me with the mature and thoughtful shit that’s coming out of his mouth:

“It was a lot of sadness and a lot of anger. Like the first night I got out…my wife was asleep and I couldn’t sleep the first few days. I would always look at her sleep and I started thinking about the hard year she had. My year wasn’t hard; my year was boring. She had a hard year. That made me upset to think about the hardships she went through…I felt guilty. I felt guilty for putting the people who cared about me through a lot of crap. All these emotions hit me at once and I started crying like a little girl.”

You might be crying like a little girl, Jon … but now you’re thinkin like a real man. *chokes up, gets tissue* I’m so proud of our ickle War Machine.

As for where Koppenhaver will end up next, it sounds like he’s not lacking promotional options. UK promotion BAMMA (who jumped at the opportunity to snap up Nate ‘Mr TRT’ Marquardt) were so hot to trot that they were trying to sign him while he was still in jail. It might take a while for Jon to recover from a year of eating the dogfood that’s considered food in prison, but I’m sure the wait will be worth it. For all the dumb shit Koppenhaver says / does, he’s a pretty good fighter.

  • CAP

    Didn’t know this sack of shit was married. Time will tell if he learned anything.

  • Mixed Martial Adam

    Can’t wait to see War Machine fight again, he’s won me over with his blogs & generally likable attitude – which is a welcome change.

    However, I can’t believe that he can stay out of jail forever. The dude just seems to have a problem reacting without thinking, and I’m not sure that a trait like that can ever be changed as it’s reflexive more than anything.

  • kwagnuth

    That’s what happens when you get too much semen pumped up your ass in the clink. You come out all sensitive.

  • frickshun

    ^^Wouldn’t that make you salty?

  • Mixed Martial Adam

    It would make you a very salty dog indeed

  • nem0

    No wonder he was in jail.  Those are some serious DSLs.

  • kvelertak

    So uh.. was his wife taking notice when he was running dick through porn stars?

    what am I missing?

    Over/under on warmachine going back to prison.

  • iamphoenix

    idk why he was in porn. his dick was stupid.

  • KeyboardWarrior

    ^ Definitely not porn material junk

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    I believe his wife is also a pornstar.

  • agentsmith

    ^ I thought he hooked up with her just after his porn career and just before his prison career.

  • CAP

    how romantic.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    I think they were already dating since he brought her to the party at which he ended his porn career.