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Japan prepares it’s limp into 2012

MMA in Japan has been letting out one long death rattle for the past year and a half, but every so often they take a deep breath so they can continue to shudder and convulse like a zombie in desperate need of a double tap. Here’s the latest on DREAM’s attempts to stay un-dead:

This week, pro wrestling legend and (arguable) MMA pioneer Antonio Inoki announced that he would be staging a major show on December 31 at the Saitama Super Arena in Japan. Inoki will be co-promoting the show with representatives from Dream, and it will be the heir to the Dynamite!! franchise. Because the name Dynamite!! was sold earlier this year, Inoki’s show has instead been given the odd name of “Are You Healthy?!! New Year’s Eve!! 2011″ (Genki Desu Ka!! Omisoka!! 2011 for the Japanese speaking audience).

Genki Desu Ka brings us back to the tradition of the Japanese fight scene asking questions it doesn’t want the answers to. Back for New Years Eve 2007 they held “YARENNOKA!”, roughly translated to “CAN’T DO IT????”, like a challenge. And it turned out no, they could not do it. And now GENKI DESU KA!! ARE YOU HEALTHY??? NO WE ARE NOT! WE CONTAIN SEVERAL CANCERS THAT NO ONE WILL EXCISE!!

Speaking of cancers, here’s Kazuyoshi Ishii’s latest scheme to reboot K-1: the Federation International K-1 Association.

FIKA is to be headquartered in Hong Kong and they are going to appeal big time to Chinese audiences by having some of their biggest shows take place in China. There will still be a “World Stage” event in Japan, but it doesn’t appear to be the Finals. They are looking to hold events around the world to bring a ‘World Cup’ feeling and will try to be the FIFA of Kickboxing. FIKA has also brought on famous Chinese folk singer Song Zuying to sing the official FIKA theme song, which was apparently the big headline grabber in China in regards to this announcement, on top of the list of famous people at the event. The theme song will apparently be recorded in English as well, which Zuying was quoted saying it would help FIKA have a global appeal.

Whew, good thing there’s going to be a new theme song that will propel FIKA to world dominiation. Here I was thinking this was just going to be some gimmicky crap that doesn’t address the major problems K-1 has. To be fair, the announcement also included information about new investment groups funding everything. But we’ve heard all that before. I’ll stop busting balls the day former K-1 fighters step forward and say they’ve been paid. I think that’s reasonable. I’m not even demanding Ishii commit seppuku anymore. Some sort of banishment / finger removal will do.

  • iamphoenix

    Other possible event names that could have happened:

    WHAT’S FOR DINNER!! WE ARE REALLY HUNGRY HOW ABOUT YOU!!!

    NEXT WEEK WE GO TO THE DENTIST!!!

    LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE STREET!!! OUCH, A MOPED JUST HIT ME!!!

  • unclefesterdanawhite

    Or how about: WE HAVE SMALL JAPANESE PENIS!!!

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