Check out this interview that June “Dana’s mother” White did with Gary “Jerry” Millen, better known as the guy with the ” target=”_blank”>Sterculius Touch (which means that anything he touches, such as PRIDE FC or M-1 Global, turns to shit). It’s prefaced by an elegant montage of every embarrassing photo of Dana White that ever befouled his mother’s attic accompanied by a harrowing orchestral score.
Once we get to the actual interview, we’re treated to several dozen totally non-bitter accusations about Dana, each more salacious and smarmy than the last. It would be very strange to see this coming from his own mother if we could just forget that she and Dana, the king of vindictiveness, have the same blood. Among the accusations:
June decided to start talking ill of her son when his grandmother died and he didn’t take care of her as allegedly promised and didn’t go to the funeral
She believes her son takes steroids
She accuses Dana of cheating on his wife, calls the marriage “a joke” and says he “puts Tiger Woods to Shame”
She claims to “know for sure” that Dana is sleeping with plenty of the ring card girls including Amber Nicole and Rachelle Leah
She says Dana slept with his sister-in-law in her house
She alleges Dana got the worst black eye she’s ever seen and nearly lost his eye after his wife attacked him on their honeymoon
She tries to play the guilt card by saying that it’s unfair to Dana’s kids that she doesn’t get to see them.
Dana’s mom published an unauthorized biography of the UFC president this May and compared Dana to Satan’s child from “Rosemary’s Baby”, even though he is, well, HER CHILD. Her insistence that she does not care about money and is just doing this for Dana’s own good falls flat when we consider that she could have chosen to, well, you know, just talk to Dana in private about it instead of drag his name through the mud to sell books.
Millen, for his part, has been a prickly burr on Dana’s tender sphincter for over five years now and has no plans to let up anytime soon. When the two of them get together, we can see what a beautiful dung mushroom the resentment and hate blossom into. If June White and Jerry Millen are really as cozy as they seem in the above photo, then maybe he’ll do what he did to PRIDE USA by touching Dana’s mom with his little pingling: drain all of her blood and vitality, turn her into a skeleton, bury her in a ditch, and then somehow find another willing victim.